Categories: uncategorized
Date: 11 May 2004 21:18:08
I am in disgrace. I knew I would be, and to be sure, I am. I rang my sister to see whether I was and she rang back to say it might be worth going round to see my dad this evening, just calling round casually to see if he was OK and see if it put him in a good mood again. I tried - I failed - I gave up. My crime? Well, how could I have gone out for the day with my friend? I mean, how could I? He could barely bring himself to speak to me, and turned away when I went to kiss him goodnight. He'll come round eventually - but it was good for my awareness of how less stressed I'm feeling when I realised that I wasn't at all bothered by this, I just shrugged my shoulders and walked away, laughing under my breath at how silly it was.
The day didn't begin well, actually. I nearly didn't make it to Bible Study. It was one of those situations of having all the time in the world. Fatal! I had a leisurely breakfast and reckoned I had time for a soak in the bath, a gentle stroll up the hill to M's house, and time to have a quick coffee with her before the others arrived. Hmmm. First of all, I was prevented from getting into the bath by a series of phone calls. Then I had a quick scout round the house for my "grown up" Bible and could only find the one I use most of the time at home which is for 9-12 year olds. I settled into the bath - which was just the right temperature - and promptly fell asleep. By the time I woke and remembered that I was supposed to be going out, it was getting rather late. I just couldn't get dry, of course. I ran to the bedroom to put on the clothes I had put out, and was disgusted to discover that my gradual increase in weight these past weeks and months had finally tipped the balance and I could no longer get comfortably (or safely!) into my blouse. Throwing it to the floor in disgust, I tried another... and another.... cursing at the fact that the cat was asleep on top of the box containing my t-shirts and not even thinking to wake him... until I finally found one that I could fasten the buttons on and be confident that they would stay that way. Then began the hunt for my shoes.
I hurtled full speed up the hill in the car and arrived just as they'd decided I wasn't going to make it!
The group was a good one. I am a terrible intellectual snob when it comes to Bible Study. It is a great failing in me and I wish I could overcome it because I know it's wrong, but I am afraid I don't suffer fools gladly - either in the content of the study or in the people participating - and find it really hard to get anything out or give anything or even feel close to God when the meeting is monopolised by someone who has nothing to contribute or the content isn't sufficiently challenging. Oh my, that sounds so terrible. But then perhaps it is also honest. Fortunately I didn't have to deal with that difficulty as we were able to discuss sensibly and with a good balance of opinions.
The study itself is the Bishop of Portsmouth's Kairos project which we are undertaking as an ecumenical study over the next six weeks in five groups within the village. It will be interesting taking part. Mind you, it could be somewhat inconvenienced by my return to work!
From there M and I decided to make good use of yet another 2-for-price-of-1 offer for our local restaurant. I dropped home to tell dad, but finding his door locked and the place in silence, reckoned he'd gone for a walk so I put a note on his door to say I wouldn't be home for lunch but would be back later. (Hence the silent treatment tonight!) and off we went for an utterly delicious meal. My resolve to cut back on food in general and sweet things in particular was rather hampered by the quantity of this meal (especially the Mars Delight Sundae which M forced me to have, much against my will) and my resolve to exercise more and plan to spend the afternoon at the gym was.. er... postponed because I felt a little too full to move... but we made up for it on our return by delivering the Christian Aid envelopes. I'm sure running up and down a dozen drives must have burned off all those calories..... mustn't it?
A tiny bit of excitement while delivering Christian Aid envelopes. M and I had been going to alternate houses, but the last one we did together. I had never noticed it. It was a large manor house, complete with lodge and winding drive. How can you overlook such a thing? We walked up the drive, admiring the garden and ultimately the beautiful house and M (who goes there every year to collect) informed me that this was the house which was, until fairly recently, home to Mark King of Level 42. Nice house!