Categories: uncategorized
Date: 17 July 2004 19:29:49
A lovely day tinged with a little sadness as Dad says goodbye to his little car. A young girl we know has bought it and it's good to see the delight in her eyes as she gazes at it, but it's a landmark dad for Dad as the empty garage rams home another loss. The dentist yesterday commented to me that when Dad talks about losing my mum it all sounds a very fresh and deep sorrow. Maybe that's why he won't talk to me about her at all. Still, I'm glad that it was today that the car went as Dad won't have time to dwell too much on it - Smudgelet's gone there for a sleepover to make up for not being able to stay at Scout Camp! :D
I'm delighted as my lie-in this morning was cut short somewhat by a small boy crying because he missed his big brother. (Makes a change from him crying for his sister, I suppose). He came and snuggled in my sleeping bag on the sofa (still can't get to the bed in my room for piles of potential ironing). Reluctant as I was to let him, and much as it is frowned upon in these days of excessive paranoia about child protection, it was delightful to curl up with him snuggled up against me and marvel at the way that God created the bodies of mother and child to nestle together so perfectly. I don't think there's anything more wonderful than holding your child in your arms as they sleep.
A lazy day today, if tiring, as I took Smudgelet out to spend the day at the Scout Camp. I heard it said once that the ideal parent is one like in the Enid Blyton books - provider of food and drink and love, but otherwise neither seen nor heard as the children go off adventuring. So I was that parent. I hid in the car, armed with my laptop to do some schoolwork and my book to do some serious getting-lost-in-the-story and had a wonderful day, being served copious cups of coffee by passing Scouts and Leaders and declaring on my forays into the outside world that I simply "was not there". The Smudgelets were a little disconcerted at first and clammered for attention, but they soon went off and had a whale of a time getting tired and dirty and running wild without mummy's eagle eye on them. And I managed to refrain from any motherly comments at all, until the last moment when I was leaving and accidentally told Tiddles to get some suncream and his sunhat on!
It was a good job I did go. The Scout Leader is brilliant and really inspires the kids, but he's not the world's most organised person. Granted I'm not either, but I think I would have thought ahead adequately not to have to send a parent in search of a shop selling coffee, tea and toilet rolls!
It was great watching the boys build an assault course, bivouacs, chop wood and make fires to cook their own (and my) lunch. How exciting! I almost wished I were a scout - almost.
I got a telling off when I arrived home half an hour later than planned. Not only had the Tesco man just been and delivered the groceries, but also when the people had come two days early to collect the car, they had gone away empty handed because the keys were in my jacket pocket!
The house feels very empty without any Smudgelets.