Categories: uncategorized
Date: 23 October 2004 20:23:54
Have you ever noticed that the things we say to others very often end up being messages to ourselves? You haven't? Well, maybe it's just me, then.
Tackling Smudgelet's tendency to see his cup as half empty instead of half full, I've been trying to help him look at things the other way once in a while. His moany session because his brother was having a friend to play for an hour in the afternoon was threatening to spoil our whole weekend last weekend so I (somewhat miraculously) got him to focus on the things that he likes to do but wishes Tiddles weren't around for. He realised that Tiddles stops him reading or colouring quietly, and that junk modelling is far more fun when you don't have to share (sharing isn't one of Smudgelet's overwhelming virtues) and we had a fantastic afternoon which only ended in a moan when Tiddles' friend went home.
People at school sometimes tease him about his big ears. Well, they do stick out somewhat. But we decided that they were wonderful ears - I love them to bits and he knows that the bigger his ears, the more there is of them for me to love. Also theyare definitely a sign of how big his brain is, that it is pushing his ears out sideways. But best of all, when people tease him, he can smile happily to himself and think how nice it is not to be someone who feels the need to tease other people and how lucky he is to have lots of good friends.
Today I had chance to live "on the bright side" for myself. Firstly because of not being able to go to the wedding. I was really disappointed, especially as the day drew on, but my lovely friend M had a brainwave and she and I took the boys out for a special treat of a meal - complete with huge dessert! - to celebrate my friends' marriage and, what do you know, there were even celebratory fireworks :D I was also faced with the challenge of it being Young Archaeologists today. Because Smudgelet is actually two years below the official membership age for YAC, he can only stay if I stay. Luckily the leaders are not toooooo stringent with this rule and are willing for me to go off and sit in the cafe for the day. Hmmm.... a whole day sitting on my own in the cafe surrounded by torrential rain? Is this precisely how I want to spend the day when I would otherwise have been at a wedding? Well, always look on the bright side of life. How often do I get to sit all day at a table, being plied with copious cups of coffee (and an indulgent teacake, dripping with dollups of extremely unhealthy butter) and write letters with absolutely no fear of being interrupted by small boys or elderly fathers, and with no distractions of housework or computers to draw me away? It was wonderful! And the boys had a whale of a time getting absolutely filthy doing massive cave paintings with sand and soil, charcoal and flowers and finger paints.
We're all set for travelling up for the funeral later in the week. I think we have made some plans... even if they're a bit higgledy piggledy at the moment. And it looks like Dad might go and stay with my sister for a week or so afterwards which will give me a bit of a break and some time in my own home alone. He's going to stay with his friend and is willing to bite the bullet about staying there when he's not 100% well.... the deciding factor was the chance to see his great-granddaughter for the first time! I'm going to stay with my friend. I feel a little funny about this - it's ages since I've stayed there with the boys. She and I have always been incredibly close but, of recent years, that seems to have disintegrated and it feels as though I hardly know her, even though glimmers of our old friendship seem to break through from time to time. I don't want to lose that, especially because her children are my Godchildren and incredibly precious to me, but I am on edge. And although her immediate response when I mentioned the funeral was "Will you come and stay here?", it then seemed to be rather inconvenient for us to do so. I pray that this visit will be the success we need to rekindle the friendship rather than my "gran's" funeral being the funeral of this special relationship too... though I suppose the time comes sometimes when you just have to let go and let things change. And I suppose, as the girls grow, I can establish that Godmotherly relationship directly with them through letters and by encouraging them to visit independently if they would like to. They're such delightful girls and they and my sons get on so incredibly well.
Now, do I go for an early night, switch the telly on, or turn my attention to my massage jacket which has, alas, a generous splattering of massage oil across the front of it. Anyone any bright ideas on how to get oil out of cotton? Hmmm.... I think I'll tactfully "forget" it tonight and take advantage of a quiet night for a long soak in the bath with the book I've ... er.... "borrowed" from my sister (to get it read before she notices it's missing!)
(Incidentally, the doctor says that the ear is sort of getting better and that I should go back in three weeks to see if it's healed. The shooting pains have gone but the "On the verge of exploding" sensation is still there with a vengeance. Please God, let it last less than three weeks or I shall be completely insane. What do you mean, "shall be?" ? )
Drat - I have that stupid song stuck on a loop in my brain now!