Categories: uncategorized
Date: 05 November 2004 22:47:21
It must be a year now since Tiddles was having his tantrums. So I suppose he can be forgiven for having had two mega-tantrums today. Talk about fireworks! He's tired, you see. Not from any extraordinarily late night but, with his sleep disorder, the change in the clocks has wreaked havoc with his sleep patterns and the extra hour in bed has actually resulted in him having several hours less sleep. Follow this with him having Scouts last Monday and you have a recipe for disaster (because the normal late night from scouts was exacerbated because his body clock was still working an hour later - which meant it felt like 11pm when he got to bed, not the 10pm it said on the clock). Despite warnings about the dangers of this tiredness and the consequences of any unacceptable behaviour as a result of it, he was just too tired to stay in control.
He certainly blew today. The blue touchpaper today was.... well, you'll never believe this. I put clean underwear and shirts by their bedroom door this morning and, by the time he had carried them into the bedroom, his underpants were missing. Of course, he'd dropped them en route, but this was beside the point. He ranted and raved, attacked his brother, threw things at me, trashed the bedroom, and declared his intention of a) not going to school and b) never wearing pants again! The scary part was when he kicked against the toy cupboard - a very big and heavy cupboard (took two of us to carry it into the bedroom), loaded with stackable boxes of toys and clothes on top - and the whole thing came crashing to the ground.
He was told he was grounded for this evening - which meant he would miss the fireworks. This morning he "didn't care - don't like stupid fireworks anyway". This evening he arrived home utterly repentant and longing for a cuddle. He had his cuddle, of course. It's how I know that God will be forgiving, the fact that I find I have forgiven him and long to comfort him, even before he's sought that forgiveness. But he thought that forgiveness entailed revoking the punishment. It hurt, but the punishment had to stand, of course - and suddenly I got a real insight into the meaning of "This will hurt me more than it hurts you" as it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. And, typical - it provoked tantrum number two. This time I had to stand by and watch him bang his head against the wall. He was so cross with himself and, while deep down he knew that I was right, he was determined not to make things easy for me. Thank God for M, who walked down in the dark to come and babysit and calm him down while I took Smudgelet to the fireworks.
The firework display was wonderful - added to which, we passed several impressive displays en route there and back. It was disappointing that safety regulations (which had threatened to make the display totally unviable) had resulted in there not being the usual massive bonfire - the biggest I'd ever seen - but rather just a small fire in the beacon. But there was a show by fire-eaters as well as the most amazing fireworks, which were all the more beautiful for being let off over the sea at Yarmouth. Smudgelet and I were also both fascinated by the fact that we could see fireworks being let off on the other side of the Solent too, on the mainland! It's wonderful to see the awe in his face as he looks up at you, eyes gleaming in the light of the fire, and says "Was that it? Just a fire and a few fireworks?" Luckily he soon changed his tune when I said that I agreed, it wasn't really worth coming to next year! ;)
Thank you so much, those people who've felt drawn to comment on my wiblog about our decision making regarding Dad's future living arrangements. I really appreciated those. We're going steady at the moment, but I must say my mind is somewhat settled to the idea that he may well end up in this home that we're looking at and that we have to plan ahead. Crisis management is never the best way forward with something as major as this, as we learnt from my "gran"'s situation. His visit this morning to the home went really well and he was full of it when he came back again for lunch - even though an accident had happened which could well have put him right off! A workman was repairing the television, which was on a bracket on the wall, and all of a sudden the bracket detatched itself from the wall and the television came crashing down next to the seat (empty, luckily) next to where Dad was sitting. Was he perturbed? Not a bit of it! I think he was probably too busy charming all the ladies! :D He seems quite settled to the idea of going for the day next week, and also is very taken with how nice the manageress is..... even if she does smoke! ;)
I talked to M who was a teacher of the deaf and she reckons it's OK to wait until Monday to return to the docs, but that I should definitely ring on Monday. She says it's clear that my eardrum has perforated again - hence all the blood and pus and a slight reduction in the sensation of pressure inside my head. I couldn't go to the doc's today - not with work and the fireworks and the.. well, indoor fireworks.