Categories: uncategorized
Date: 20 November 2004 21:19:26
God will have his way. No matter how much I squirm and prevaricate, I just can't deny that I hear that call loud and strong. My Smudgelets use every method known to small-boy to get out of tidying their bedroom, but it will be done. And I think I have stronger willpower than God? Never mind the widow's persistant knocking at her neighbour's door to get bread showing us how we should persist in our petitions to God, it feels more like I'm the neighbour and it's God who's just not going to stop knocking until I give up and open the door.
How can I stand and pray the beautiful words of the covenant service one more time - the one where I say I give my life to God for him to use as he will - if I am not really willing to take that step of faith and do what I can here him so clearly telling me to do? The tutor for the local preachers told me today that she thinks I have too many demands on my time - and I said "Don't tell me, tell God. I've been telling him that, and he just won't listen!" - but I wasn't getting off that easily. She has said that I have five years in which to complete the training, so she wants me to concentrate on doing the studying first and do the preaching later. She thinks I should have little difficulty with the studying (I wish I were that confident!) and I know she has confidence that God can use me to preach too, because she always calls on me to participate in her services and often to do the childrens' addresses. Her husband is less reserved - he reckons that God will have me doing His work, busy or not...just as he ended up going kicking and screaming into the ministry.
Today was a prime example. There was a mission day on the Island with Steve Wild, the Director for Evangelism from Cliff College. I'd looked at the programme - an afternoon workshop and an evening celebration - and decided that that was all well and good but that I couldn't go - commitments with the children, you know, and the fact that no childcare was provided. So what happens? All of a sudden, out of the blue, the organisers decide that there should be a separate event for worship leaders and local preachers in the morning and a letter arrives through the door, personally addressed to me, inviting me to come along for the hours of 10 - 12.30 - venue just down the road from where my children go to Music Centre from just before 10 until just after 12.30!!! Now that's what I call sneaky. And there's Steve Wild talking about looking for "God-incidences" instead of coincidences!
The mission was brilliant. I was enthralled. I watched the clock the whole time, not wishing the hours away or worried about not being on time to meet the kids, but desperate for the time to go more slowly so I could soak in all he had to say and listen and listen and listen. And God kept poking me on the shoulder and saying "Are you listening to this, Smudge? Are you listening to this?" I'd have loved to stay for the afternoon, but instead I put the children to bed for an hour and then this evening we all went. And I knew. The most important message for me, though, was this "Your greatest sermon is your life" - now is that a challenge or what?