Categories: uncategorized
Date: 25 March 2008 21:30:44
1) My computer has its own agenda. It's clearly busy doing something which is not what I have asked it to do, and in the grand scheme of things my requests are clearly of lower priority. Virus scans have revealed nothing, spyware scans have revealed nothing, but my computer has things on its mind which are obviously none of my business. It is getting too big for its boots. It will have to go.
2) I use my computer incessantly for work. After all, with an ICT department which seems actively to discourage staff from using modern technology in our striving to prepare the up and coming generation for the demands of 21st century life, it is essential to be able to keep records, make worksheets, research information and print reams of paperwork at home. When it keeps freezing me out mid-worksheet or mid-google I am not happy.
3) I use my computer incessantly for God. I am sure He understands. I make resources for my services - service sheets, powerpoint thingies - I access Bible Gateway to read different versions of the same thing, I use an online resource to help me plan my services, I type up my assignments and print them (though I seem to be able to worry about them without the need for modern technology). When it keeps freezing me out mid-worksheet or mid-google I am not happy.
4) My computer is an essential procrastination tool, without which I wouldn't procrastinate half so well.
5) My computer has decided that it would be great fun to play hide and seek. Unable to relocate itself very easily without leaving a trail of wires, it does this by hiding programs. Generally the ones I want. One minute they're there, the next minute they've gone. I spend an eternity looking for them before switching off in disgust. Then what do you know, the computer gleefully returns them to where it found them. This happens repeatedly with MSN, with Net Nanny, with Publisher and the other Office thingies. My computer clearly has no understanding of when play is appropriate and when it's downright annoying. The difference between childlike and childish, methinks.
6) I haven't been able to get into St Pixels church for what seems like an eternity. My access to MSN is spasmodic. When one's circle of friends is mostly imaginary/virtual, then it is not kind of a computer to keep one incommunicado. Pah!
7) The USB ports are all at the back of the computer. This means that, in order to take a powerpoint presentation to church for use in my Sunday Morning service (I say this as though it happens all the time - it's only one of my churches which does powerpoint as the norm), I have to climb onto the wobbly chair, balance carefully and then mountaineer to a position where I can stand on the desk. Then, having inserted the memory stick, I have to dismount and do the twiddlies with my computer to transfer the file onto the memory stick. I then go through the whole process again to retrieve the memory stick. A slight slip of the fingers and I find myself doing a mad race to Staples on Saturday night to purchase a replacement memory stick for the one that's fallen down the back of the computer table to the place of no return.
8) It cannot be good for the environment when one turns one's computer off at night and discovers, next morning, the computer still running merrily and an error message which says "I know you'd finished what you were doing, but actually I'm not turning off as requested because I haven't finished what I'm doing."
Too big for its boots, I tell you. It's got to go!