Categories: uncategorized
Date: 01 December 2006 13:23:12
You know that noise when someone unties the knot on the blowy-uppy bit of a balloon? Yes, that's how I feel.. currently trying valiently to focus on the fact that I have a whole week ahead of me to wake up in my own bed, to take the Smudgelets to macdonalds if I want to (want to? OK, can't get out of), to go to the cinema, to do the Christmas shopping, to tidy my chaotic household and not on the fact that I have just left my Dad fighting back the tears at a place where they'll look after him well enough, but it's not a place he wants to be. It just all emphasises the fact that he's old and frail and unable to care for himself.... and the fact that I don't want him cared for "well enough", I want him cared for as well as he would be at home.
I feel horrible.
It will pass, I know. I will, by tomorrow, be able to focus on things properly and enjoy going to the Church Christmas Dinner and my sons' concert without having to arrange sitters and feeling bad because Dad's no longer well enough to go. But for now I just want to go racing back there to bring him home.