Categories: uncategorized
Date: 31 December 2006 21:14:05
My eldest came home yesterday, courtesy of the wonderful friends who took care of him over Christmas and drove him all the way home, staying with me while I got over the initial impact of having him in the house again. It is going to be hard. At the moment he's trying fairly hard to stick within the new, more stringent house rules that I have imposed - although to be honest I'm finding them fairly trying too as I can no longer ask him to nip to the shop to get me something I've run out of, he's not allowed in either my home or Dad's unaccompanied which means I have to go with him if I've left something in the other house, and I have to remember to lock my bedroom door and not lose the key... and then to unlock it instead of dislocating my shoulder trying to walk through as I press the handle!
A godsend in helping our relationship and, more particularly, his relationship within the rest of the family has been the discovery of another website telling more about Attachment Disorder which helps make his current behaviour less personal and enables us to know more of what we're up against and the sort of help he .. and we... will need. I will put it in my links so that people like Jennyanydots can have a good read as it's useful information.
For me at the moment the hard part is coming to terms with how the past few months have made me feel as it's a feeling quite alien to me at present. He is my son and I love him. But I really don't want him around me, I don't want to hug him or cuddle him, I don't trust him with my emotions... and what I really hate is that this is alienating me from people who see my charming, endearing, lovely boy and cannot understand why I am struggling. But we will get through this, sooner or later we will get through this. And when life becomes more normal here it will be easier to see the way forward. In the meantime I entrust us both to God's keeping and praise Him for the amazing strength and supportiveness and understanding of those who love and care for us.