Categories: uncategorized
Date: 21 October 2010 21:19:45
It's interesting, how touch has become so taboo. I can understand how it has arisen, but I also wonder if it is partly to blame for how isolated our younger generations seem to be, so insensitive to the feelings of others, so frightened of emotion of any sort except perhaps anger.
Why have we allowed things to get to such a ridiculous point where someone feels wary of comforting a child with a touch? Are our children really to grow up with the understanding that the only motive for touch is either anger or sexual? Is every kindness to be viewed with a search for an ulterior motive?
Today circumstances led me to hold in my arms a child that was not my own. The child, feeling my arms holding them secure, relaxed. We both of us benefited from the moment of physical contact.
What tears me apart most about "losing" my eldest son? Not the fact that I can't talk to him, not the fact that I can't watch TV with him or go for a walk with him. It's the fact that I can't hug him or put my arms round his shoulder, even feel uncomfortable taking his hand in mine on the rare occasion that I see him. And what I miss most about my parents is the sense of their loving touch. Tactile person, me, really. In fact, I so often find myself wishing that God had arms.
Difficult, I know. When a child or adult may associate touch with abuse, either physical or sexual, then the most innocent of hugs may have different connotations for them. And for some people physical contact is something which simply does not feel comfortable. But I wonder sometimes whether it's just me or whether the world really is a sadder place when people begin to feel guilty or anxious about innocent touch and hold back from giving physical comfort to those around them.