Categories: uncategorized
Date: 05 November 2009 13:05:38
Personally I still think my eye problems are stress related. Not exactly "all in the mind", but a physical symptom of my body being rather fed up of dealing with one mental onslaught after another. Trouble is, how do you deal with that? And why do the words "just stress" sound so pathetic? I almost wish the scan had shown something up. Something treatable, something specific, something to make me feel less of a fraud. Even if it were something devastating, it feels as though it'd just be the next thing to deal with and that if it were something that took me totally out of circulation and the need to be responsible for anyone or anything, I have to admit that there are times when that option sounds rather appealing. (No, I'm not wishing myself ill, just thinking that some time out would be rather pleasant - a bit of serious running away - as I feel quite tired of being me right now...and again I have to justify that as half the time being me is just fine). The optician says my eyes are healthy and there's no problem at all that should be affecting my vision apart from my close-up vision deteriorating quite rapidly and a need for new reading glasses. He thinks it may be a type of migraine affecting the optic nerve. Each "you're fine" is a reassurance and an emotional blow. If, as I think, it's going to boil down to "stress", there is no clear answer. I feel like I'm swinging the lead as much as the Smudgelet (whose flu symptoms intensify whenever he notices I'm watching and who is clearly willing the thermometer up whenever I take his temperature). Still, all this musing isn't getting the washing up done, nor stopping me feeling sorry for myself. To work, Smudgie, to work. A shiny sink will make you feel 100 times better :)