On hold

Date: 23 April 2009 22:04:16

How am I ever going to be ready for the move when an entire day is taken up by something as simple as buying a shed.

First find your shed. BnQ in Londonshire don't really do sheds. The biggest BnQ I've ever seen, and they don't do sheds. Just tiny little wooden things that'd just about hold a lawnmower and not much else. Not proper, take-up-half-your-garden sheds. And the online version of there and just about everywhere else do sheds, but aren't very accommodating when it comes to delivering.

Trouble is, we can't be very flexible on when we take delivery either. I get the keys to the flat a week tomorrow (goodness, is it really really that soon?) and am meeting my brother there for a day or two to put the shed up, so that it's ready and waiting to store all my gumpf when we finally move in. So it has to arrive on that Friday. Any sooner and we won't have a home to store it in (or even be there to sign for it), any later and we won't have time to put it up. It has to be the Friday, and they JUST DON'T DO THAT!

So finally I find it. The website. The shed. The shed that will fit just right in my new garden without looking too hideous or taking up too much room, and the website that will generously allow you (for an extra £30!) to specify which day you want it delivered.

I ordered the shed and paid for it online, then rang the number that they said to arrange delivery. "We're sorry, all our operators are busy with other customers at the moment. Please hold".

I did some other paperwork, whilst holding.

I played a couple of round of FreeCell and played Jack and Deeleea at Lexulous with varying degrees of success, whilst holding.

I organised some Wightmeet photographs for the boy, whilst holding.

I went into the kitchen and loaded the dishwasher, whilst holding.

I made myself a cup of coffee, whilst holding.

I returned to my desk and sat down to drink my coffee, whilst holding, and suddenly realised that I had another pressing need which had to be dealt with before drinking another drop. Should I hang up? No, after an eternity on hold, I didn't want to be relegated to the back of the queue, and I wasn't going to be a couple of minutes, so I took the phone with me.

I sat down and began to do what a woman has to do, and yes, you've guessed it: "Hello, you're through to the shed delivery office. How can I help you?"

"I am really sorry about the sound effects, but I've been on hold so long that I simply couldn't hold on any longer. I am just going to the toilet. Please hold the line for a moment and I'll get back to you as soon as I can" ;o)

Trouble was, when I was finally able to speak to her, she informed me that the information wasn't through to her computer at that point. I would have to ring again tomorrow.

I'll empty my bladder first, though!