Categories: uncategorized
Date: 28 February 2009 10:33:50
From my sister's we went to Morley for the St Pixels meet at a retreat centre there. My initial thought was that I'd made a big mistake - I was far from ready for being surrounded by a large group of people and had to keep making my apologies and heading rapidly for the sanctuary of the toilet with a packet of tissues. It was only the fact that the Smudgelet was having such fun that kept me there. I guess having a phone call from one of the legal folks just as I arrived didn't help, but it was a necessary evil. But everyone was incredibly supportive and it gradually got easier, both to talk about our situation and to forget it as appropriate.
I managed three out of the five services. For one I found myself getting slightly tearful - not an easy situation when you're sitting in a horseshoe as I'm not one for having the whole congregation feeling the need to comfort me! I slipped outside and continued the rest of the service just sitting quietly on the floor outside the door, part of what was going on, yet alone with God and my soggy tissues. Little did I know that up in the office there sat a trained nurse who caught sight of me in the CCTV camera and was concerned that I might be having an angina attack. Luckily he decided against rushing to my aid.... I could have found myself prone on the floor with a nurse on my chest giving me the kiss of life..... hmm.... now there's a thought!
Highlight of the weekend was, of course, croquet. I love croquet. I'm useless at it (and really frustrated because I ought to be OK at it, seeing that it's a game combining a good aim (which I usually have - well, reasonable anyway) and a mean nature (no comment!). But I'm hopeless :) I find it so funny, though, that you look at pictures of croquet games in the past and it looks so gentile and ladylike.... but in reality it's a wonderful game for being spiteful and devious and downright nasty to your opponents! Obviously my handicap is that I'm far too nice. (OK, you can stop laughing now!)
On the Sunday we then set out on our homeward leg of the journey. I'd decided to take the Smudgelet out of school for a day and go and visit my friend in London with her new baby, stopping overnight with some other friends nearby. The Smudgelet and I had a bit of fun thinking up the excuses I might make to his head teacher for why he wasn't at school. The one we didn't think of was..." the car broke down and we had to sit for an hour and a half by the A52 waiting for the RAC to tow the car to a garage in the middle of nowhere and to transport us back to the retreat house where we'd have to stay for two more days until the car was repaired".
Hmmm....
Financially I really could have done without that. Emotionally, though, I have to admit I got a lot out of it, as the retreat house was so quiet and peaceful and also there was a quiet day being run there on the Monday. A kind offer from the manager of the house (or rather, from his wife dropping him in it) to keep an eye on the Smudgelet meant that I was able to join in and spend the day in meditation led by an inspirational speaker - a Lenten workshop on learning to listen to God and trust Him in times of uncertainty. How clear a sign was that of God having a finger in the pie?
Now I just have to learn to do it. The trusting, that is. For myself, but also for the Smudgelet who's struggling to see the good in life at the moment.