Categories: uncategorized
Date: 10 December 2007 21:11:03
It seems these days that there's just one thing after another to negotiate. My blogs seem to get bogged down, just as life does, and yet I am generally still ticking along and trying not to fall into the trap of thinking that the light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of the oncoming train. There's loads of laughter in the house and pleasant things to report, it's just that the big ones seem to overshadow them sometimes and can't be ignored.
Smudgelet is missing his Grandad a lot and dreading spending Christmas without him. I am missing him too (Dad, that is, not Smudgelet) but am still able to look forward to Christmas - maybe relishing the chance to celebrate in our way without worrying too much about Dad because he's never liked Christmas and it's always been a case of trying to get through the day without allowing his grumpiness to spoil things. I have never been a person to hold on to dates either (as anyone who's waited in vain for a timely birthday card from me will probably realise - though forget mine and you're in big big trouble ;o) ) so I'm not spending this advent time doing a run-down of anniversaries, though I'm sure there'll be a moment on 23rd when it sinks in that it's been a whole year without him. (The more so because 23rd is a Sunday and I'll be preaching - somehow it makes the day more noticeable). But it's hard to see my little one looking so sad at a time when he should be happy. Please remember him in your prayers.
As for the other one, he's driving me mad long distance. I'm experiencing "Mother of a teenager" by telephone, with "You're just not listening to me" being yelled from many miles away. He's finding that life in an all-male environment isn't such a breeze and that sometimes you have to do as you're told, and he doesn't like it. Surprise? I'm listening, sunshine, what I'm not doing is agreeing with you and pampering to you by saying you don't have to go to school any more! Ooooooh, good job he's got that stretch of water between us. But I know a big part of the trouble is that he's overtired and homesick. Please remember him in your prayers.
Work? I am frustrated and disillusioned having lost a major battle. If I didn't care so much about my job it wouldn't matter, but I can't just pay lipservice to it, and to my mind forcing children as young as nine repeatedly to sit test papers under exam conditions when they don't stand a chance of understanding more than one question (if they're lucky) on the whole paper is tantamount to child abuse. I maybe shouldn't say something so strong here when I don't know who might be reading it, but someone's got to start saying something and I don't know how long I'll retain my job as it is. But what adult would allow themselves to be put in the position of repeated failure like that and not start complaining to their union or become totally disillusioned. I spend five weeks building up their confidence, only to have it smashed to smithereens in the blinking of an eye every sixth week. Please pray for me, and for the children I teach.
It doesn't feel like life in all its fullness at the moment. But with God's help, we'll get there. And I do have a rather smashing extension to tell you about, maybe tomorrow!