Categories: uncategorized
Date: 01 January 1970 00:59:59
Yes, that about sums it up. I feel well. Tired, yes; shattered, yes; exhausted, yes; any other hyperbolic expression of being weary, yes; but WELL :-D It has been slowly creeping up on me since half term, but now I know it's there for real. Glandular Fever, I know you can hang around for ages, but I am beating you into submission!
Saturday went well - I felt like doing things, I felt like spending time with the children (strange! it won't last ;-) ), I didn't feel as though I needed to sleep during the day despite feeling tired. Even the evening was, I think, symptomatic of how much healthier I am feeling as I ended up with a fit of the miseries about being stuck at home with nothing to do and no-one to make me feel special, whereas for ages I couldn't have cared less about going out and didn't really want company. Mind you, my fit of the miseries didn't last long once my friend Cliona came along on MSN and we started comparing notes on "crushes we have had" :-D She had the audacity to suggest that was why I was so keen to watch the Star Wars movies with my son again and again!
Sunday was utterly wonderful, especially church. It was a really inspiring service - partly because it was a really inspiring service (everybody said so) but also partly because I was so tuned in to it. It held some pretty powerful messages for me too. Things that I had been asking God about over the last week were answered directly in the service. It seemed almost written for me, though it's presumptuous to think so. It made quite an impact on the boys too.
It was the first time since I became ill that I had played the organ for church, brought about because of the death of a dear friend of mine last week who was another of our organists. Instead of being a chore, I found it a delight - the music just flowed, just how I wanted it to, and even with mostly the right notes in there....... in the right order, at that! I am by no means a gifted musician and seriously out of practice to boot, so it felt like a gift in the true sense of the word. In the same way I had been asked to do two readings and people commented favourably afterwards - I felt inspired. I was my old self. (They may live to regret that!). What really hit home to me, though, was how ill I have been and, even more than that, how long I had been ill - quite some time before I ended up in hospital, I now realise. Thank you God for Glandular Fever and the chance to step back from life for a while and start again.
Work invaded the afternoon - Dad took the children for a walk to feed the ducks while I set about some paperwork (and sneaked a visit to the ship and a natter in MSN while I did it) then we had tea together and Dad and I spent some real quality time in each other's company - another step forward as things have been a little strained of late. And then my non-Ship time was spent in prayer before another MSN and cafe session to end the day.
The exhaustion is incredible - a physical and emotional and mental reaction to my first week back full time and caring for a rather poorly Smudgelet. I couldn't do the tables test in school today (to my utter embarrassment) and by the afternoon couldn't even stay awake. I dozed at the table during the staff meeting (They discussed vital issues around me!). But I had some wonderful news in a chat with the Head. If only I could post again on the Ship today, I would consign him to heaven!
I had been concerned about going back to full time. I had requested a day off per week, which the boss was unable to grant. I then asked that I have one afternoon off - my non-contact time on a Monday - but when my contract arrived it was for full time. I had been unsure what to do about it, but finally had come to the conclusion to leave it at that and struggle through until Easter, with the knowledge behind me that I could always go off sick if it was seriously too much (little as I would want to do that). Today the Head took me on one side and explained his thinking. He wants my contract to be full time but my timetable is arranged so I have three non-contact afternoons. He is happy for me to talk to him at midday when I am feeling tired and for me to go home to "work at home". He knows the work will get done, but is happy for me to do it at another time, and for me to go home and sleep or catch up with jobs before the boys get home in the meantime. By not making it official it means I get paid full time and my pension is kept at full time rates, but also means the school have some flexibility too if they need me to cover on a particular afternoon, for example. It's mostly for my benefit, though, for which I am eternally grateful. I could have kissed him! I certainly had a job holding back the tears.
And added to that, I could have kissed the person who sent me a surprise parcel for when I got home from school today.... music and G&B white chocolate to while away the evening - bliss :-D
Where are the :yipee: smilies when you need them?