Categories: uncategorized
Date: 01 January 1970 00:59:59
It's been a short while since I updated this, after my intention of renewing it daily during Lent. The reason? Well, sleep mostly. It would seem I am STILL spending much of my waking hours sleeping...and still managing to sleep the night away too.
The reading in the place of going on the Ship is still going well, thanks to Fish and the Gospel of John, although I have not been doing much more than that because of... you've got it in one... sleeping. I feel a bit like those poor disciples who fell asleep while Jesus was praying in the garden. I'd stand no chance - I even nearly fell asleep in church this morning.
Life has generally been good to me this last week or so, apart from a few moans and problems which always put the good bits out of perspective don't they? How can I be miserable when the sun is shining, the birds are singing and my garden is a-glow with daffodils? And when the children I teach are making amazing progress and are a delight to be with? Very easily, it seems.... and totally unreasonably. But it doesn't last long, and there are some wonderful friends around who can soon help me banish the blues.
School is a little worrying at the moment as anarchy seems to have set in amongst a significant number and we seem to have no secure discipline structure to combat it. Strong leadership would help. Some of the children are rude, arrogant, and totally lacking in respect or desire to learn and there is no reasoning with them. Impose a breaktime detention and they just do not turn up. Ask them to be quiet or to move or to pay attention and they hurl abuse and argument and refuse to listen to you, getting up and walking out of the classroom. I am really lucky that this is not the case with the ones I teach regularly who are some of the best kids I have taught. But cover lessons are a nightmare and I felt very cowardly the other day as I hid in my caravan (I could not leave my class as they were doing a timed test) while mayhem ensued outside between gangs of children swearing at each other and fighting in the playground instead of going to their lesson. Not nice...and not going to get better as the year goes on, either.
Having said that, my own son has been a bit of a nightmare this weekend again, and as a result my leg is rather bruised! I must learn to deal with him differently. It proved a catalyst for a long and profitable talk, though, about his tantrums and tiredness and what we can do about it, with the end result that we are much closer again now and he is clearly trying very hard to be a bit more mature. We held our heart to heart in the encouraging atmosphere of Thornton's Cafe - we really must do that more often ;-)
The sermon the other week talked of the angels who were said to have accompanied Jesus in the desert, and the fact that we are called to be angels for others in their desert times. I must say that my desert times this weekend have been eased by the presence of angels. Friends who have been there for me and listened to my moans and let me cry without trying to take control. A friend who has offered very very practical help - offering to have one of the boys to tea every other week and who has taken them out for the afternoon today so I can get on. A friend who is organising some of the food for the adoption/baptism service for Smudgelet next month.
This afternoon, in the absence of Smudgelets, I have been able to make a real impact on the sorting out which needs to happen to this hovel of a home before I can start a proper clean and get it to the state I actually feel happy to live in. Not that anyone but me can tell the difference, but at least I know what I've done, and I am fairly pleased with it. I am just regaining my strength setting on the washing up and cleaning the kitchen. Talking to my friend Margaret about how fast it all gets dirty again, she said "You have to think, would you rather have a clean and tidy home and no children, or a bit of mess and have them there?", to which we both simultaneously replied "A tidy home" !!!! it's not true, though - they'd win every time..... Though I wish they'd learn to put their dirty pants and socks in the wash basket instead of throwing them round the bedroom!!!
Right - washing up - I can leave it no longer