The cycle of depression

Categories: uncategorized

Date: 20 January 2005 02:17:37

I have contacted a counsellor. I feel brave just doing that but I guess I still have to turn up to the appointment when I get one. My ex-boyfriend went to one yesterday and said something very strange to me afterwards, that he saw myself and my housemate and that made him feel very cold. Neither of us were anywhere near that location and haven't been for the last 3 weeks so that was all a bit odd.

I think part of the reason I may be depressed is that I haven't been exercising nearly as much as I used to. I know it increases the good hormones in my body so tomorrow, I am starting a regime to get me back into things. I am going to go to the pool for laps 2 or 3 mornings a week and then do a different kind of exercise class during the week such as yoga or pilates.

To top things off, somehow I got myself into an email conversation with my ex-boyfriend yesterday. Bit of guilt-tripping and bribery going on, he made it sound like while I was having any sort of relationship with my housemate, I am not allowed to sing in his choir. That was a big blow to my healing because I thought it would just take time for things to get easier.

If I wasn't so strapped for cash and things were more practical, I might have considered moving out. I feel like I need to be distanced from everything to get things straight. I guess a good thing to consider might be staying with one of my Aunties for a weekend to see what happens and how I feel by getting away from it all. Hhhmmm.....