Ash Wednesday & Dinner

Categories: uncategorized

Date: 09 February 2005 23:03:27

I braved my anxious and terrified feelings to attend the Ash Wednesday service that my ex-choir (and consequently ex-boyfriend) were performing at. It was a beautiful service with a plainchant mass. There was also a Gibbons and a Byrd piece. There were only three noticeable mishaps but they were only small. It was really difficult to be there but in another way, I am so glad I went. The service was gorgeous and all the prayers about forgiveness and being spiritual really spoke to me (and hopefully to the ex-boyfriend as well). The people in the choir came up to me afterwards and said how nice it was to see me and some commented on how great it would be to have me back in the choir and how much they miss me. That was difficult but incredibly nice. I had a few little tears particularly when this tiny 85 year old lady gave me a hug and said 'we have to do what we have to do' and sympathised with me saying that she understood why I broke up with him.

Sounds like my ex-boyfriend is using some very good emotional manipulation when it comes to our mutual friends. Of course he sees them more frequently than me due to the choir and everything but he is being incredibly vicious and bitter by the sounds of it. He managed to pull in at least one sympathy vote from being 'traumatised' by me turning up to the Ash Wednesday service. He was probably no more traumatised than I was but I thought a beautiful church service like that would be a good way to get our first 'meeting' over and done with. He was obviously harbouring bitter feelings and not paying attention to the service. Sad when people live like that, particularly when they feel they have to turn mutual friends to be on their side.

Anyway, after that emotional experience, I went home and cooked a meal for my vegetarian friend. This consisted of some bean and capsicum patties with a dipping sauce I made from butter beans, yoghurt, mint and basil (and some pitta bread). For the main, I made a fried tofu and vegetable curry with rice. For a light dessert I put together some vanilla yoghurt, jam and elderflower cordial (a weird sounding combination but absolutely brilliant). That was a nice end to an emotionally filled day.