Categories: uncategorized
Date: 18 May 2006 22:29:50
Generally I'm fairly good at juggling commitments (or at least appearing to be) and as such manage to be involved with a number of things at once. There are times however, when all these things are a little less easy to manage, and once you drop one ball you realise just how many are up there and they all threaten to come crashing down. Hmm. Anyway, I think this was one of those weeks. I've just had a long conversation with my mum about it all, trying to work out what can stay and what can (or should) go. The thing is, I have this terrible ability to volunteer for stuff, and take things on which I really want to do but which sensibly probably aren't a good idea...
The problem at the moment is that I have to get some experience or no-one is ever going to give me a job (I didn't get the other one by the way, which is probably not adding to the happy jolly feeling at the moment..), therefore in an ideal world this should be my priority. I also need to be more actively looking for jobs too, if I want any hope of finding one! But as we know this world is far from ideal and therefore what I've actually ended up giving priority to is working to keep myself solvent (the success of which is debatable, but thats not the point). This is essentially whats getting me down. Along with the fact that I hate feeling out of control (yes, my inner control freak again), and when I have too many days when I feel I've just drifted from one thing to the next on auto pilot, without having actually planned anything, I feel like I'm losing control.
Fortunately this is generally fixable, given some time to get myself and my head together. And also not feeling ill for a bit would help I think. Oh grr, why do these things all have to happen at once?? Ah well, I'm going away for the weekend, and I'm going to try not to think about this stuff for a few days, and come back to it all on Monday. Have a good one all!