Categories: uncategorized
Date: 09 May 2005 23:42:13
Ok, prepare yourself for the ramblings of this folkie...
Tonight I went to see Closer with some friends. Now, if you haven't seen the film, and are planning to, be warned, I may give away plot lines etc, but don't be put off, it is a good film, honest.
Anyway, this was a film about love (uh oh, here we go). Well, about a group of four people, who fall in and out of love with each other several times (fairly realistic I would say) and can't make up their minds who they want to be with (even more realistic!). So, instead, they hurt, cheat on, and lie to the people they claim to love (is this realistic? Probably). This is the sort of film that people either complain about because its depresssing, or hail as genius because its more realistic than most 'romantic' films which finish with a happily ever after.
I have to say, I'm more on the side of the second. Life generally, and certainly love, isn't all neatly finished happy endings. It's messy, people cheat, people get hurt and hurt others, and in the end you make the best of it like you do with everything else. While I like a good romance as much as the next girl, I still feel better coming away from a film like this, because I don't come away thinking 'why doesn't my life match up to that?', like I do with so many 'happy' films. Not because I'm not happy, don't take this the wrong way. Anyway. Where was I..
Oh yes, I liked this film because it was more real than most, it didn't cover over the cracks and the bumps, which was good. But (there had to be one), I also don't like this realism. Why? Because that means this is real, this is how things are, what we have to expect, from life, from love, from other people. Lying, betrayal. If that's reality, I'm worried. For people in general, for myself specifically. This is where the real romantic in me comes out. I'm not someone who considers flowers and expensive gifts to be important (though it is nice sometimes!!). What is important is honesty. Love is about sharing everything with someone, telling them everything, not having things you want to keep from them. It's about not wanting to hurt them or see them hurt. So many times in this (and other) films, people said 'I love you' as a reason, and excuse, a way of 'getting back in the good books', when they had lied/cheated etc. And I found myself thinking 'No, you don't'. Because love wouldn't do that. If you really loved that person, you wouldn't do that to them. Or maybe I'm mistaken. Maybe, in an ideal world, but not in this one. And that's why I worry about things, about us. If that is what love means, coming back after you've caused the pain, then we're in a bad way.
But then, I'm not sure I'm qualified to comment, based on very little experience myself. And also, I have experience of people for whom it isn't like that, which gives me hope.
Apologies for the long and rambling-ness of this post, I have a feeling this is something which gets me going somewhat. Particularly at the moment. But I feel better having written it down. Thank you.