It's not right, you know

Categories: ramblings

Date: 08 October 2008 12:02:26

I've needed a new handbag for ages. I put off looking for a new one for as long as possible, but sadly could no longer avoid the task, since my current one was no longer waterproof, shed red dye all over my copy of The Imitation of Christ, and the lining was coming adrift and kept snagging on the zip.

Normally, the Quest for a new handbag is long, and tedious, requiring much schlepping from shop to shop, for I have strict requirements for such things - it needs to be big enough to carry everything I need, but not so big that I can carry everything I want as well, because that way lies strained neck muscles and never being able to find anything.

It also needs to have copious pockets, because I refuse to become one of those people who gets to the ticket barriers at the Tube station and then has to go chasing through everything they're carrying, playing “hunt the tube ticket.” I need pockets for mobile, travel card, and work security pass. A leash of some sort for house keys is a bonus.

And it can't be too expensive. £200 Radley bags, whilst they are lovely, are not what I need to be lumping around with me, shutting in Tube doors, kicking round under my desk, and having my lunch leak all over.

Anyway, I sighed, deeply, and began my Quest.

And I purchased exactly what I wanted in the second shop I went into, 20 minutes after I started looking, and it was £4 cheaper than the tag said.

And it's big enough for everything I need to carry with me (lunch, purse, book, travel card, diary), and the things I want to carry with me (mantilla, little camera).

This is not right. I should still be looking at Christmas.

Clearly, the Rapture's imminent. If you get home tonight and the taps are running with blood, it's all my fault, and I'm really sorry.

(Pink bananas? That is why God, in His infinite wisdom and bounty, gave us Photoshop).