Categories: uncategorized
Date: 19 January 2009 13:21:09
There is a special place in Hell for people who come up to when
you're surrounded by an entire rainforest that's been chopped down
and turned into paper, and say fatuous things like "are you busy?"
"Yes I am busy, now go away."
"Can I just ask you..."
"No."
"But it won't take a minute."
What I really wanted to say next was "This is true, it won't. It will take hours. Now go away, for I am busy, and you are stupid."
What I actually said was "go on..."
This was a mistake of Biblical proportions. Please note, I have already had to explain the concept of double-entry bookkeeping to this person. An auditor not being familiar with the concept of three-line double entry (e.g. credit accounts payable, debit expense account and VAT) is a bit like a croupier not knowing what a deck of cards is. (That's the analogy I used to explain that conversation to my housemate, who is a pit boss in a casino. Feel free to insert your own "a bit like [someone] not knowing [something really basic and fundamental to their job]" metaphor here).
"I can't find this invoice in the December postings."
"That's because that's a January posting. Try the January posting file."
"But why wasn't it posted in December?"
"Because I may be brilliant, but I am not psychic. That invoice was dated 5th January. It did not physically exist before then, and I can't post what doesn't exist. Now go away, because I have another family of orang-utans to render homeless."
And he hovers. I can't stand people who hover.