Categories: uncategorized
Date: 03 April 2010 13:33:49
"Let me 'splain. [pause] No, there is too much. Let me sum up."I believe the reason I haven't blogged in a long time is because so much has been going on over here... each day brought so many changes and things and revelations...difficult to keep up. I do wish now I had documented it in some way, because here I am on the other side, and all I can remember is the whirlwind. I did, however, mention something about procrastination here, though... Perfectionists make the best procrastinators, because we really (honestly & truly) think that in order to do/start something, we should do it right. How utterly exhausting. So, to sum up the last six weeks or so: 1) House is on the market, ready for showings (just one so far, but will probably be lowering the price soon...hopefully just the right person will see it - and in a few months it will be a new home for someone else) 2) I have a job interview scheduled at the end of April (just bought an airplane ticket last night). I'm not worried at all about the interview... but I AM very nervous about what to wear! Need to go on a business attire shopping spree ASAP. 3) 7 more weeks of school year...so it's "crunch time" at work (intense & stressful..so I'm more focused on having fun with my students - but need to be taking very good data and getting their files & therapy plans in place, too...gah!) 4) am planning to submit my resignation in the next few weeks (that was a very difficult decision to come to, but I think it's best all around... feels like I'll be flying without a net - because, literally, I will be unemployed! It's scary, because I'm such a planner...) 5) I had an emotional meltdown about losing the money I have invested into this house... and now I'm MOSTLY on the other side (of that meltdown) and hope to be ok with a less-than-perfect-house-selling-situation. Especially in this real estate market. Especially in the current economy. 6) Which comes first - job? or move? ...storage unit? or buy a house? Something needs to fall into place soon - or else my head will, literally, explode. Or maybe I'll just develop a new nervous twitch? I already pull my hair, so hopefully future stress will express itself in a non-destructive way. 7) Weight loss? um, well, sort of. Depends on the day. I can now register on my scale, which is a great thing! But unfortunately my weight has fluctuated sooooooooooooo much in the last month, I've decided not to get on it for a while. Also, the simple act of weighing myself makes me think about food and sabotaging myself...so perhaps I should put the scale away for a while. I have recently had the pleasure of reconnecting with old friends (and sharing the art of laughter!) which has been sorely missed and such a blessing. 8) I've consistently been late to work this past week...so, um, maybe i'll try to wake up earlier? It takes me A LOT longer to leave for work in the morning...because I have to clean up behind myself every moment of getting ready! (UH-OH! WATER DROPLET ON SINK BASIN - MUST WIPE IMMEDIATELY! or SMALL SPECK OF DEBRIS ON FLOOR - CALL IN THE TROOPS AND VACUUM IT AWAY!! or TAKE OUT THE TRASH BEFORE YOU LEAVE - YOU NEVER KNOW WHO IS GOING TO LOOK IN YOUR TRASH CAN!!!). Needless to say, it takes a bit of getting used to...especially making my bed every morning - I'm really not that person who makes her bed up perfectly every morning.... so this has probably been the biggest adjustment (so now i try to make my bed while brushing teeth before jumping into the shower...there has certainly been a learning curve.) I could always do what my niece does and just sleep on top of the sheets/blankets. 9) Cooking is a challenge - I don't feel like I can mess up the kitchen too much because I need to be able to show the house at the drop of a hat... so am working on a meal plan... 10) Making a 'meal plan' is harder than anything - I have some sort of cognitive block (same kind of block I experience when planning therapy sessions for my students - I'm GREAT at helping other people plan their lessons/generating ideas for other people/children - but when it comes to me it's really hard for some reason). I also have a cognitive block when talking to someone or about something important...which is why, I think, that I'm not a good debater. Give me some time, and I'll come back so we can talk about it. But heated debates? No thank you. 11) it has felt a little bit funny, knowing that this may be the-last-time i'll do this or that... or see this person... or hey - we better get some plans on the calendar pretty soon because i won't be here much this summer! kindof exciting, kinda scary...and it's also kind of funny when friends & acquaintances are frantically wanting to do stuff together (for which i'm flattered and of course i want to do stuff too) when all the other time i've lived here it was really really really difficult to find time together - like pulling teeth... if only it were easier in these past ten years... 12) in a loving way, a friend recently helped me realize a few things... about God's humor and timing and my stupid sheep mindset: WHY DIDN'T I LISTEN WHEN G-D SAID...?