time

Date: 19 January 2010 08:48:32

Remember those old clock radios that had the numbers that flipped... you could hear them change minutes, especially at night? My dad had one - on his bedside table. It was always on - playing some sort of talk radio that I didn't learn to appreciate until I was 20 (now I almost exclusively listen to NPR - national public radio - because I feel it gives more well-rounded local/national/world reports... but I digress). So for Christmas he gave me one of those digital photo frames. It's wicked cool, and since I've never owned one before I had fun playing with it once finally unpacked last night. It even has a few fancy features...displays digital photographs, has a calendar display, AND it has a variety of clock displays - including the vintage number-flip display. Mine is quieter than the ones they made in the 1970's...however the LCD screen is pretty bright during the black nighttime, so it has its own drawbacks. In other news, if you need a nightlight or way to orient yourself en route to the bathroom in the middle of the night, you could always use your new digital photo frame. It's funny, actually - watching the numbers flip. Reminds me about how quickly time passes. I have been thinking a great deal about the past 10 years of my life, and what I would like to make with the next decade... because, in all honesty, we only get one turn on this earth (well, depending on your religious beliefs, but let's just go with my thought here) and I don't want to wake up 12 years from now and wish I had made different choices. No more wishing my life away... (isn't there a line like that in The Princess Bride?) While going through old files, I came across so many encouraging sayings/documents/quotes to keep me motivated and moving when I was in graduate school. Things like:

I have enough time to do what needs to be done today.
Changes are difficult. It’s an uphill battle. It’s difficult. You can do it! Changes are difficult, but you can do it.
...Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.

I still have a beautiful quote book - I used to write down the things I heard/read which impacted me in some way or made me think. Unfortunately, I never wrote down who said what...on purpose...so it would be very difficult to publish or share publicly, but maybe it would do some good for me to start writing in it again. Maybe the "law of attraction" would enable me to hear/read more inspiring & thoughtful words. And maybe it's time I started living my life instead of existing and coping - feeling that my destiny was my job I'm rapidly losing interest in, in a city with people with whom I share no history, alone. I've been so alone for so long - some by choice, other by circumstance... it's time I had my friends - my good friends, with history - within a day's driving distance. Perhaps thinking about these things is making it very difficult to sleep...currently 2:46AM. Overwhelmed? Well, I'm feeling more calm about logistics working themselves out. If worse comes to worse, it will only cost me a great deal of $$ to move (if I don't yet have a job and need to put my furniture & belongings in storage). Logistics, logistics, logistics...and taxes. lol I'm actually very excited - thinking about all of this time, and time passing...and making time count. This weekend I made a near-final rough draft of my resume (and is currently in the hands of three trusted friends to give me constructive feedback - info add/delete? spelling? grammar? repeats?). And I'm thinking of the kind of job I want to have. And where I might wish to work... if the universe was open and I could create my dream job. and life. ...carpe diem, right Captain?