Categories: uncategorized
Date: 04 December 2006 03:45:39
it's been a long week of not working, which is fine in some respects... sometimes it's nice to have an impromptu day off here or there.
but the fact is i had left some student files, lesson plans, and administrative paperwork on my desk to do first thing Thursday morning... Thursday was cancelled due to ice/snow... and so i'm even further behind on my work.
it's not necessarily that i have 'cabin fever' at this time... it's more that i want to do my job well, be productive, and turn things in on time. call me crazy - i enjoy doing my job to the best of my ability. this week mother nature weaved her tricky magic... and thus, one more day at home.
although, i'm thinking i'll make phone calls, do errands, and wrap up a few more odds/ends.
Thursday and Friday were highly UNPRODUCTIVE days (and no, i did not surf the net or comment on blogs or have any other presence online, check my email every 30 minutes - both addresses - or do any holiday shopping online, thank you very much) so i'm hoping i can kick myself in the b-u-t-t tomorrow and really get a few thigns accomplished... like my gas grill!!!! Just joshing there - it probably won't happen for a while yet... although give a girl another snow day, and she might just do it!
In other news, I spoke to my father today... he sounds much, Much, MUCH better than he has in the past few phone calls... he has a small appetite, his voice sounded strong, and apparently he's had a stronger resolve today. He mentioned that he won't refuse the Physical Therapist next time they come, and if something is too hard for him, Dad said he will ask for help (instead of shutting down). I hope it lasts. Mom noticed his improved mood, and suggested he talk to one of the kids... he chose me. that makes me feel good. (note: the phone call was about 1 1/2 minutes, but that's very long for him)
In still other news, my friends had a semi-intervention for me last night. We had a lovely dinner (meatloaf, potatoes, corn, salad, homemade bread), talked a lot, moved into the living room... i was trying to make a pointy end on a candy cane (but me, i always bite it before it can actually get there, so in essence the attempt was futile, however i was trying), and A said "we need to talk to you about something".
my heart stopped - i got very worried - wondering what i could have done wrong... scrolling through the past conversations in my head... what's the problem?
apparently when we were shopping last weekend I was upset and said something about being afraid of "melting into nothingness". the reason i say *apparently* is because I don't recall the context, or actually saying it, although it must have been in context of whatever we were talking about. ...did a search in my email, and didn't find anything there.
Anyway, they were concerned about me - and they have nothing to be concerned about - i would never do anything harmful, but apparently they were worried. I think that comment (melt into nothingness) was a reflection on having so much on my plate, that i was afraid of losing myself... my person... not feeling free to embrase my personality and let it shine... feeling burdened... you know, we've all been there.
Recently told someone that I feel like i have my groove back at work - it was missing for a while... but now it's back.
Perhaps losing my 'groove' at work, commenting on 'melting into nothingness', and feeling very overwhelmed in the Life Plate Department caused my friends to be concerned.
I've never been the recipient of an intervention before... not sure if that's entirely the purpose of our get-together... but it helps me know that they both value my friendship, which is a blessing. I will be more careful about what i say, perhaps keep more metaphorical expressions to myself... i think in analolgies, metaphores... it helps me express myself and make sense of the world. I wish they had addressed it with me when it came up... we could have clarified earlier.
Well, since there's no work tomorrow, I might just stay up and wrap more presents, pack a few boxes that are en route to friends for the holidays... and even go to the post office! Whooo-hoo! Productive City! ...well, at least let me see the city's pearly gates... perhaps they'll inspire me :)
p.s. Let's all keep playing...I'm really enjoying the game thus far :) **tee-hee** :D