Categories: uncategorized
Date: 26 April 2009 22:59:58
"Dear Quartet,
We'd like you to play for our wedding in two months' time, at St Gerald's church. Just the service - it's a nuptial mass so should last about an hour. We'd like you to play as the guests arrive, as the bride walks in, while we're signing the register, during communion and as we leave..."
"Dear Players,
See request above - are you free? Normal fee for up to two hours' playing?"
"Dear viola-player,
Yeah - that's fine. Hey - since St Gerald's is really local for me (so you can all come round for coffee), and it's only an hour, why don't we charge them a bit less? Love, 1st violin"
"Dear Groom,
That's fine, the quartet is available to play for your wedding. Please find attached our booking form and repertoire list so that you can think about your music choices. If you need any further help, let me know..."
"Dear Quartet,
Did I mention that we'll need you to play the hymns? We've chosen a couple that we remember from primary school. Hope you've got the music for them"
"Dear church-friend,
Help! I need copies of these hymns please - in as near to a 4 part harmonisation as you can find. No problems reading off the piano score if necessary."
"Dear Quartet,
We'd like you to play happy songs while our guests arrive, no downbeat things like classical songs can sometimes be. Just upbeat ones please. Thanks"
"Dear Quartet,
We'd like Kerry to come in to the wedding march please. The normal one. I think it's Wagner - or Mendelssohn". Then we'd like A song played on solo saxophone from Miss Saigon, and In my life by the Beatles for the signing of the register, then we'd like another happy classical song and 'When I'm 64' for the communion, then we'd like to go out to 'All you need is love'."
"Dear groom,
No problem with the 'happy classical songs' and the hymns, and I can get hold of the Beatles songs even though they're not all in our usual repertoire. I've had a look at the Miss Saigon song, and whilst it's lovely, I don't think it's going to work well for string quartet, and besides which, I can't find a quartet arrangement of it at this short notice, and due again to the short notice, I don't have time to arrange it myself. Please find attached a list of similar songs from shows that you might like as an alternative"
"Dear Quartet,
Sorry you won't do Miss Saigon. Can we have 'Fields of Gold' by Sting instead?"
"I'm sorry - same situation. I can look for an arrangement of the Sting, but I can't guarantee it at this late stage. Just to confirm - you have checked out all this non-sacred music with your vicar?"
"Yeah - priest likes the beatles. Can you do Desree's 'Kissing you'? I know that's not on your list either, but it's very nice and there's a quartet in London that can play it."
deep sigh...
"Dear colleagues in other local quartet,
Help! Please can you rush me an arrangement of Desree's Kissing you? I've given up trying to make them pick something we've actually got in the pads. Eternal gratitude and a large pint awaits. Payment too if you want"
"Dear groom,
Sorry that nothing on our repertoire list hits the spot. I have managed to source an arrangement of the Desree so hopefully we're now sorted."
"Dear players
Just checking you're all OK with all the details for next week. Times, venue and repertoire attached. I know. I'm sorry. See you there"
"Dear viola player,
We'll be done by 1.30pm won't we, cos I have to be the other side of the city by 2pm. 2nd violin"
"Dear 2nd violin,
No. The way this gig is going, I can't guarantee anything, and 1.30 was always going to be cutting it fine. Can you promise you'll stay to the end of the quartet gig even if it means you being late to your next thing?"
"Dear viola player,
Praps you'd better get a different 2nd violin for this one. Mind you, it's a busy date so you might struggle. Sorry"
"Dear 1st violin,
Don't ever try to convince me into charging a lower fee ever, ever again"