I've just been ordained

Date: 10 January 2009 19:56:06

Congratulations! You are now a legally ordained minister for life, though you may relinquish your credentials at any time. AS OF Saturday the 10th of January 2009 YOU HAVE BECOME A MEMBER OF THE PRESTIGIOUS CLERGY. You have earned a title worthy of admiration and respect. Let it be known on this date that in accordance with the laws of the Universal Life Church Monastery, as ordaining officer, I, Brother Martin, do ordain you into our ministry. From this day forward, you are entitled to all of the rights of an ordained minister. You have the authority to perform marriages, baptisms, and all other ceremonies of the church. You are an independent minister of this church. This is a position that carries with it a burden of responsibility; please respect others and comply with the laws of the land.

As a minister with the Universal Life Church (ULC) you are granted the following:

The ability to perform marriages within your state, following the rules laid out by the state in which you wish to perform said marriage.
To perform funerals, baptisms, last rites or any other sort of legal ceremony or ritual you wish to perform, except circumcision.
To start a church of your own, be it a bricks and mortar building or on the internet.
To absolve others of their sins as you have been absolved of yours.

I just tried to copy and post the certificate, but sadly I don't seem to be able to do it.