A day in the life of Alien

She then left me to play with my feet and talk to the lampshade while she went and got dressed. Grandpa rang from Australia, but Mummy didn't want to talk to him cos she was trying to get ready. Then she took me across the drive to the landladys house cos she was looking after me when Mummy went to work. I got to sleep in a 35 year old big pram, and even had breakfast in a 35 year old high chair. The landlady loves parrots, so I sat and looked at all the toys parrots hanging up in the kitchen.

I think I heard Mummy getting back at about 12.30, but I was still quite sleepy so I stayed in the pram while she went and tidied up the house a bit, and hoovered so that when I roll on the floor I don't have mouse droppings and things in my mouth.

When I woke up, the landlady took me home and I had dinner. I had tuna and tomato pasta. It was yummy. I had to have my trousers changed after dinner because Mummy didn't hold on to the cup properly and I forgot it was in my hand and water splashed everywhere.

After dinner, I had my milk, while Mummy played on the computer. She often plays on the computer while I have my milk. I can look at the screen while she's playing too.

Then we went to the supermarket because Mummy realised she didn't have any food in the house, and Daddy would complain because it's the weekend tomorrow. (Oh, by the way, I know all of this cos she constantly talks to me. Acutally, I think she's talking to herself really, but she pretends that she's talking to me.)

I smiled at everyone because I like people to think that I'm sweet. But the only bit about me that isn't so sweet is that I have a habit of puking up rather a lot. And Mummy always carries around a cloth so it's okay really. I did a really good big puke and it went everywhere. When we got to the checkout, the nice lady scanned a jumper that Mummy was buying for me, and then the lady saw that it had a strange wet stuff all down the front of it and asked Mummy if she wanted another one. Mummy said no, and that it was probably my puke on it anyway. She hadn't seen that I'd managed to get it that far! I also held the shopping for a while, and was reading it out to Mummy, but she took it off me after I chewed it one time too many, and she said that she couldn't read it because it was so soggy.

Shopping is such hard work that I went to sleep in the car on the way home. When I woke up we went for a walk down the lane. When we go down the lane I get to see lots of trees and leaves. I like trees. We also saw a dead rat and it's guts were all over the road. Sometimes we go up the lane and see the horses. I like the horses too.

When we got home again, I had some tea. I'm not really sure that I like kiwifruit.

Then I played lots in my walker, and with my toys. I have a game that I play with Mummy. She puts lots of toys on my tray, and I throw them all off the tray. When there's none left on the tray, Mummy puts them all back again, and the game starts again. It's good fun. We also read the Early Learning Centre catalouge. I like reading. And we had a bit of a sing too.

We popped over to the landlord/landladys again, because Daddy had gone over there to sort out their new computer. I got to play with the dogs while we were there. Junior is very good because he doesn't mind when I hold his hair. I sometimes forget that I'm holding his hair and get very excited and wave my arms around. He doesn't even seem to mind that.

Then I was getting tired, so we came home and Mummy gave me a bath. I like my bath. And now I can sit up by myself in the bath it's even better because it means I can play with the rubber duck while Mummys washing my hair. I don't like being dried though. I'd rather just eat my feet. It's far more fun.