Categories: uncategorized
Date: 24 November 2005 13:05:45
Just been listening to the radio and they've been talking about the case of a university student who was 'raped' while drunk. The case has been dismissed as the girl admitted that she is not sure if she was raped because she does not remember whether she gave consent or not.
I'm finding the discussion about this interesting because I've been in a very similar situation.
I was very very drunk, but I know for certain that there is absolutely no way that I would have given consent had I not been so drunk. I don't know whether I did or not as there are parts of the evening which are a total blank. The man was completely sober and was a security guard of somewhere that I was walking past on my way home from an event. I was on my own. I remember going in, and I remember certain parts of what can only have been about 5 minutes or so that I was with him. There are blanks though, for example how we got into this 'other room'. I know I suddenly felt sober when I was aware of being 'very initmate' with him. It was like a switch was turned on as prior to that point there is a blank.
I spent the rest of the night very upset (obviously) and with police giving statements and having samples etc taken from my clothing and from me. The shock of it sobered me up a bit, but I was still not totally with it throughout all of it. I gave a signed statement of events and was driven back to where it happened, and had to identify the man.
A few days later, the police came round to talk about what would happen next. Because of the blanks in my memory, they said that if it were to go to court, there is a chance that it would be difficult to prosecute because of these blanks. Even though I said that there was no way I would have given the consent having been sober (and never met / seen the man before). I decided that because of this, and the other crap which happened to be going on in my life at the time, I couldn't handle it going to court and being dragged out over a long period of time.
But obviously, as this girl in the news now did, I questioned (and I guess still do) whether it was 'rape'. How much of it was my own fault, and did I lead the man on etc etc. I think I would say that the man was just bloody stupid, and was not a 'nice' person to take of advantage of me in the way that he did. It was blatantly obvious just how drunk I was, and any half decent person would have realised that and just told me to go home or whatever. But as to whether he was legally in the wrong, I don't know. He could've claimed that I did consent, or I gave 'indications' of consent, but since I do not remember, I don't know. I do know that when drunk, I probably do things I wouldn't when sober. I wonder if this girl thinks in the same way. And does this make what happened any less wrong? But does it make it more wrong as I wouldn't have consented if sober.
One of the people on the news I've just listened to was talking about an act in law which states that sex is wrong if a person is asleep or in a similar state. Does that, or should that include if drunk?
I think it's probably also linked to the discussion in the news recently about the way a woman dresses being linked to whether she is 'asking for it', as in, if she is dressed 'skimpily' should she expect a man to take advantage of her because of it. If a woman dresses like this, why does she do it? Does she do it because it makes her feel good? Or because she knows men like it? Or because it makes her popular?
I guess these are all those unanswerable questions. Who knows what goes on in the minds of people, whether sober or drunk. There is no way to find out a persons intentions unless they admit to them. And even then, intentions may not mean a thing.
Makes you think though doesn't it?