Categories: uncategorized
Date: 02 April 2006 09:28:28
Since I have Alien asleep on me and can't go anywhere I thought I'd ponder on Spring Harvest experiences as TractorGirl requested some comments (not that these will neccesarily be useful!!).
I've been to Spring Harvest 4 times, each quite different in many ways. The first time was with my Mum and Dad, and best mate. My Dad is totally uninterested in religion, but came as it was a holiday and went windsurfing and stuff instead if any of the actual SH stuff.
We went to the 'youth' bits, and really enjoy the fun of it all. We were in full board so met some nice people at meal times too. I don't really remember how much I got out of it spiritually, it seemed more of a fun thing that year.
The following year was much the same, only this time Dad didn't come so it was just 3 of us. Again, I remember going to all the sessions and enjoying myself, but there certainly weren't any new challenges or experiences or anything like that. I think I was spiritually 'high' from these two Spring Harvests, and went home and back to church all 'happy clappy spiritual mellow'.
The following year I went with the youth group from church. This was even more enjoyable in one sense just bacause of the whole 'being with lots of friends' experience (we were a very close group who socialised out of church too). I think I was beginning to ask more questions about my faith by this point, so it was more of a 'challenging' experience. I particularly remember wanting to have an 'experience' of the spirit. I remember being very frustrated that I hadn't had some life-changing experience.
On the last day, during the final 'service' in the Big Top, I had people praying for and with me. I'd struggled with something that I wanted to 'let go' (which interestingly I cant remember now what it was!). I can vividly remember my youth leader praying with me, and me shaking, and sitting down and feeling like I was talking to myself. I sort of remember falling over, and time passing very quickly as someone then said it was time to go home. I have a diary entry with this all in (which I may well get at some point, and copy into here). My dad had driven to collect us, and I was still slightly shaky when we met him, and couldn't stop grinning, and he noticed and commented on something being different.
I used to find those kind of holidays so hard afterwards. You'd almost live in a bubble for the whole time you were there. It was 'safe' in the bubble. You were with like-minded people. You could think about 'heavy' stuff bacause it was a 'safe' environment. You could make wonderful resolutions about the kind of person you were going to be, about the 'bad' things in your life you were going to change, how you were goin to become a better person. You were going to live a life close to God all the way, never straying, never sad, never worried or in trouble. You were a Christian. You could do everything. God was with you.
But then you went back to real life. You realised that life wasn't like that bubble. It wasn't safe. Then you beat yourself up because you didn't manage to live your wonderful idillic perfect Christian life. You were a crap and weak person. The world was a shitty place to live in.
Hm. And I haven't even got to the fourth Spring Harvest. I think I'll leave that for another time because that was another 'interesting' experience. Hm.