Categories: uncategorized
Date: 08 July 2006 11:18:41
It wasn't until I was in bed (at like 9pm cos I was feeling so crappy!) that I thought about the events of last night in more detail.
Yesterday evening, I was supposed to be going to talk / counselling. It's something I hate with a passion, but also something that I know I need to do big time, to try and get my head sorted. I'd spent the whole week worrying about it and thinking about how much I wasn't looking forward to it. I had a text during the day from a friend who said she'd be praying for me at 7.30 when I was meeting the couple to talk to. Obviously after the blood events, this didn't happen because I'd been told to stay in and rest.
So what's that about? Co-incidence? God having a laugh and thinking he'd like me to stress out a little more first? God not having any control in the whole grand scheme of things? Me trying to do something good and useful turns out shitty and mucks up plans for trying to 'sort my head'. That makes sense.
So my prayer thoughts have evolved into 'gods role in the grand scheme of things' thoughts. Like does he or can he make any difference to anything. Or is did he create it all and is now sitting back watching unable to do anything.
Y'know... those small insignificant thoughts about life.
And I'm gonna stop typing here, having had to type this 4 times as the cat keeps lying on the keyboard and deleting it all. G'arggg.