Categories: uncategorized
Date: 31 December 1969 23:59:59
It started on Monday - not long after I'd heard from the hospital about an admission date - that horrid scratchy sore throat that precedes the sneezing.
I did dose up with paracetamol and extra vitamin C but it has not yet gone away. I'm desperately praying that all traces will be gone by Friday so my pre-op check-up will go OK.
Friday is the first hurdle. Actually having a bed allocated to me is the another. Apparently amissions will contact me sometime after 6pm next week to confirm whether I should go in.
This does nothing to help a weak and fragile faith. I keep saying to myself "it's in God's hands" to try and reassure myself things will move ahead. Then again I know the NHS. I'm not sure whether this fragile pot could take a let down if it doesn't go ahead now. I've been waiting so long, and the timing is so right.
It's going to be a mad panic setting everything in place that evening if the bed is confirmed or contacting everyone if it's cancelled. Panic and worry is already setting in.
The third hurdle is then actually having the op. Again I know the NHS and if prior operations take longer than expected the theatre slot can be lost. My mother suffered this when she had her cancer operation - I don't think I could cope if it happened to me.
Oh I wish I had the confidence that all will go well. I wish I was in control. But I'm not, God is, and I'm finding it very, very hard.