To go or not to go?

Categories: uncategorized

Date: 31 December 1969 23:59:59

Tonight is homegroup night.

The fact is I'm in a dilemma as to whether to go.

Firstly, I've not been since way before Christmas. I should get back into the habit but...

Secondly, I really can't face a prayer & share or bible study. I don't think I can contribute anything positive at present - especially about faith, or God, or answers to prayer...

Thirdly, there are some people there who are so very very scriptural I'm likely to say "fcuk off" if they start laying on the scriptural niceties with a trowel. I'm sick to death of people saying things like "God is there in the midst of it. it's just that you can't see him" sort of stuff. And if I hear another "God is making you a stronger person through all of this" I will throw the book at them!

Fourthly, a good friend who runs the group has now taken it upon herself to point out to me people who are having, or have had bad times in their lives in order to negate my question of "why is it that God gives some people all the blessings?" I know there are other people out there hurting just as bad, if not worse - but this is my battle with God not theirs. And part of that is being angry with him over the fact that after over 5 years of crises there is still no end in sight.

Finally, I could do with getting out of the house as I've just about had enough of the place. When I have been awake the weather has been so awful I can't face going out even for a short walk to the shops.

I guess I just want to be left alone, then again I wouldn't mind some company either.

Oh well, I'll see if it is still raining and then try and make up my mind