A horrible thought

Categories: uncategorized

Date: 10 July 2003 16:28:06

I had a horrible thought last night, that is still with me and is haunting me like a bad dream.

I thought that maybe all the problems I'm facing are my punishment for divorcing my Ex.

I mean, if I had stayed with him:

I would still have a house - though not a home it would be a roof over my head and rather life lodging which is all I can afford to do at present.

I would have some money - even though I would have to beg him to provide houskeeping to pay for food etc.

I would have a relationship - though not loving, or sexual, or caring it would be better than the nothing I have at the moment.

I would have status as a married person - funny how some Christians treat you as something worse than single when you are divorced. I feel I'm living a life of enforced celebacy just because I valued my life over living with an abusive pervert.

I would have my cat - which Ex took with him and I never found out what happened to him. I miss him a lot.