Categories: uncategorized
Date: 10 July 2003 16:28:06
I had a horrible thought last night, that is still with me and is haunting me like a bad dream.
I thought that maybe all the problems I'm facing are my punishment for divorcing my Ex.
I mean, if I had stayed with him:
I would still have a house - though not a home it would be a roof over my head and rather life lodging which is all I can afford to do at present.
I would have some money - even though I would have to beg him to provide houskeeping to pay for food etc.
I would have a relationship - though not loving, or sexual, or caring it would be better than the nothing I have at the moment.
I would have status as a married person - funny how some Christians treat you as something worse than single when you are divorced. I feel I'm living a life of enforced celebacy just because I valued my life over living with an abusive pervert.
I would have my cat - which Ex took with him and I never found out what happened to him. I miss him a lot.