Categories: church, decisions, work
Date: 02 September 2010 12:48:09
Listen up. You've have all summer to do these things. I have had very few fixed commitments for this month, and this afternoon's is an Immoveable Feast.
So, no, I can't come in to work to do something that's been known about for months, but for which the working plan only got fixed the night before. If I'd know there was any chance I was needed on these days, I'd've kept them clear, but I didn't. (Got a perfectly cheerful, pragmatic response to that one!! The person who does that kind of organising understands me, and vice versa. He knows he can ask, and where possible I will do whatever it is, but that occasionally, for excellent reason the answer will be "no".)
The second one is trickier. I had to keep repeating to my landlady - you can come and do what ever it is any other time but not this afternoon. I'm sorry you'd organised someone to come and help you, but that's your problem to untangle. I've shifted other plans around to accommodate what you want to do, several times in the last months, this one I won't. This one was much harder work... and I had to bite my tongue at several points.
What I didn't say to either of them is that this afternoon has been tricky enough to organise, and I am distinctly nervous about it. Talking to someone new about possibly getting involved with a new bunch of people is deeply scary, and it's something I am finding really difficult at the moment. Especially as it's going to mean explaining some of the reasons I've had for holding back on getting involved.
Much of what the last few years have been about are beginning to make sense, and whatever it is that's to come next might well be beginning to become clear. But, I'm not rushing it. Or trying to organise God... but, I do wish other people would stop trying to organise me!