Categories: random
Date: 17 July 2010 07:49:24
Oh my goodness me.
Somewhere, somehow, in family folklore, I have been assigned this role of hapless, eccentric, elderly female relative (can't pin it down to any one - this was after an afternoon out with three generations!) who can't cope with real life, who is on a totally different planet.... (well, possibly that last one is true!)
So, as my aunt and I were settled, by our younger relatives, into a quiet corner of a coffee shop whilst the rest of the gang sidled off to continue the shopping, we looked at each other, spluttered, and said in unison "They mean well!" They had done their duty by me, had asked all the questions they wanted to ask, but it was time to put me back in my box as this really weird relation who gets let out to play on the family arena occasionally, as and when they can cope. They had to go back to their realities, because mine is just too, too peculiar.
We had a long conversation about it all, my aunt and I.. and it is true, my siblings and cousins and I have always had totally different outlooks on almost everything. Different values, different interests, different lives. I've had so many times of being told I needed to try harder to fit in with everyone else, that it was me at fault if I wasn't a part of family events, I was the "different" one, I was the one who had to adapt and learn. So, keeping away and limiting time with family has been my way of coping.
What made me feel so much better about it all was the admission from her that actually it's not been me that's put myself outside the family circle, as I've been told on so many occasions, in fact, I've been put there and kept there. It's suited my family very well not to try to engage with the reality of my world. It's not been lack of effort on my part, it's been lack of effort on theirs.
I don't think outwardly things will change, but there are little signs all round that a bit more effort that isn't all mine might be made!!