Somewhat disconcerted

Categories: church

Date: 01 April 2010 08:38:44

I'm having a "Don't quite know what to do with myself" few days.

This will be the first time in over twenty years I have absolutely no responsibilities of any kind in a church context for the next few days. It feels very, very strange. One bit of me is telling the rest of me to enjoy it, it may never happen again! Another bit of me is totally confused, and doesn't quite know what to do.

Do I pick and choose from the various options in the local churches, to get as close as possible to the pattern I've been used to over that time? Ideally, I'd like Eucharist tonight, and some time of a Watch - a Three Hours tomorrow, a Vigil on Saturday Evening, or Early Sunday and a Dawn Eucharist on Sunday. Except, no-one locally seems to be doing a Dawn Eucharist...

Do I enjoy the difference, and just go with the flow in the church I'm mostly going to and possibly use it as an opportunity to get to know it better? I could even volunteer to help with the Children's Activities, except I think even my recent CRB (criminal record checks - for those outside the UK) checks are too old now to be taken as recent.

Do I go for a bit of a wilderness experience with it all? After all, that's where my church experience is at the moment?

Do I go for almost complete solitude, almost retreat with it?

There are pros and cons for all of this - and I think, as I've been writing, I'm inclined mainly to go with the "Go with the flow" in my local church, but spend the Three Hours on Good Friday somewhere else, as I know the option in the local church is one I find particularly unhelpful. The last option of going it alone, almost retreat type experience is really tempting, but possibly not helpful! I'm spending way too much time on my own as it is, and good as that's been, I really do need to start getting a little more sociable again, before I turn into a Very Eccentric Woman. (Who I am trying to kid... I probably already am!)

Ah well. we shall see what happens...