Obedience

Categories: church

Date: 28 March 2010 11:49:15

It's not a concept that comes easily to me, being a woman of somewhat determined nature, and strongly independent. And, um, very stubborn with it. With an ability to sulk that is somewhat unparalleled. Oh, add a preference for being right... and I do indignant with great aplomb and panache.

I am well aware of these traits in myself and, on the whole, work reasonably well with them.. generally using the better sides of all these aspects of myself, except when things go wrong, then the worst sides all come out to play at once!!

Which doesn't make life easy for me, or anyone who knows and loves me...

It is indeed an extremely brave person who decides tackling me when I am in the midst of the worst of bad moods about the unfairness of life, and the iniquities of the human race, and points out all my faults in this - and we're both still alive to tell the tale.

I'm still not really speaking to God, and church/prayer is still a horrendous place to be - but I've worked out a coping strategy, and I am stopping flitting from place to place, routine to routine, in the hopes the "right place" will turn up. Because, right now it won't.

I could, of course, choose not to go - and I'd half gone down that road, but hard as going to church is at the moment, not going is infinitely worse.