Date: 16 September 2009 15:38:03
Thank you for the sympathy on Sunday! I have recovered my equilibrium and have even played all the songs again for myself, in a safe place.
I've been turning mental cartwheels most of the afternoon, after hearing I'd not got the job I went for an interview for yesterday. I had been planning to say "No", but was feeling guilty about that. I'd not had a good feeling about this job, right from the beginning of the application process, but it came in the category of one that I could do, and other people could see me doing. So, I'd been getting quite a lot of pressure to do it as it would also work reasonably well with the current part time job. But the things that wouldn't work well (needing either to move closer, or get a car, or deal with clashes of commitments in two people intense part time jobs, village life - which I know I find difficult...) far out-weighed the advantages for me.
However, since moving back to the bigger city, things have changed quite a lot for me. I'm loving being back in the city, I'm not minding travelling a fair distance to work, as it's not every day - I'm really enjoying the space and time to get my act together!
I'm now far surer that I want to work towards returning to self-employment as a music teacher. It's work I've done before and enjoy, and if I can balance it with a part time regular job, so I can resist the temptation to vanish into a cosy, introverted world of my own, so much the better! I can also get my organ playing back to a more respectable level of playing! It's been OK, but I've not been happy with it for some time now.
And, if I can win the war with the children who think it's acceptable to trespass by taking a supposed short cut through the garden ("But, we didn't know someone lived here...." "Tough, they do. Out!") I'll be really happy. They should be grateful I'm not here every day at school out time.