Categories: uncategorized
Date: 11 March 2006 22:21:59
Only this time we're talking about me. We're enjoying a weekend without having to rush off anywhere. Little Miff is at a friends for the evening, Ms Miff is with the BF, whilst Mr Miff is gainfully employed on the other pc manoeuvering troops and blasting away enemies. Gentleman that he is, he's donned earphones so that I'm not regaled with clanging swords, cabbage chopping noises and inspirational exhortations of "Men - My sword points the way!" or whatever it is they say in those games.
Even Miffdog obligingly slept in this morning - til nearly 8.30 a.m! A lie in indeed. In my case that constitutes nearly half a day's more snoozing than I'd normally get. So far, so good on the getting up at crack of dawn front. To be brutally accurate, before crack of dawn. And as Mr M points out, once we spring back at the end of the month it'll be even darker when I set off on my perambulation through the empty streets of our little market town.
This last can only be described as 'interesting,'me being as anyone would be at that ungodly hour - on almost complete automatic pilot. As long as everything is in place and in order, I manage. (Clothes, wash things, coffee thermos, the lot being laid out the night before in the other bathroom so that I don't disturb anyone else or wake up the dog). It is strange seeing the town centre at that time. It's generally almost deserted bar a couple of Biffa men emptying bins and the occasional person like myself, making their way through en route to an early shift.
So what do I do on my travels? Well, any intelligent thought being beyond me at that hour, I've recently, and entirely accidentally started to prayer walk. No, not the sort of charging round targeting particular places and exhorting the almighty to pull down strongholds. (Although I'm tempted to put in a word for the road works with which the centre is covered atm. Honestly, at times it's like doing an assault course just to walk down the street). No, my praying was originally more from grim necessity ; a sort of Monday morning 'Lord, just (!) get me there in one piece.' And has since developed into a sort of gentle rambling, as odd phrases from what I've read the night before float into my mind. I'm currently re-reading an old Gerard Hughes favourite, 'Oh God, Why?' and am finding a good deal comes from this.
It'd be quite interesting to look back over my journals to the time I first encountered OGW, as I've realised that in terms of what's going on in my life I'm actually in a similar situation to that that I was in some five or six years back, dealing with similar issues, only as so often happens - at a different level. In a way, it's quite encouraging, this realisation, as I'm starting to see that although I might not have progressed very far in some ways, yet growth has taken place. Then, I was rethinking a good many issues, domestic circs were a wee bit wobbly, and I was engaged in a lot of searching faithwise. (Well, don't we all?!) Much the same today really, only with the difference being that I'm aware of a good deal more confidence undergirding it all. (Note, I've not said certainty). One major change from that time is the realisation of the whole process of faith being more of a journey. No more 'If only I....if only I could....once I .... everything will be fine.
Incidentally, Jack, your recent blogging has got me thinking, not least about the 'C' word, and 'Scarey Thoughts.' (Although NOT the same scarey thought, thank goodness). No, this latest is more along the lines of some stuff Rosamundi's been writing about, and which has been creeping into my non-written musings for at least a couple of years. I've tried to analyze it, dismiss it, decided that I'm being told to wait, put out feelers in other directions, and still the wretched subject keeps nosing its way back and refuses to go away. So... with all due caution, (procrastination being my middle name, as you know), I think it might be time to make a few enquiries. That can't hurt, surely?