A week ago

Categories: uncategorized

Date: 04 October 2006 14:50:37

I had to say no.

As a parent I have to respond to lots of requests. Some are reasonable and some are not. But most are in between. Can I have some juice? That may be perfectly reasonable, or it may be that the request comes from someone who has just had a drink already and is showing signs of a sugar rush. But even that is clearer than many of the situations I find myself in.

Now I recall my childhood mostly consisting of asking for things and not getting them. I recall denial being a constant theme and it's one of the reasons I look back so bitterly over those days (when I look back, and I try to avoid doing that much, even to the extent of denying that those days even existed sometimes). So I am determined to be a more indulgent parent, and to say yes as often as possible. So if, on a Saturday morning, one of the kids asks to do something, then I'm inclined to want to do it, if at all possible. But at the back of my mind I know that I'm giving in mainly because I want them to view my parenting more favourably than I viewed my parents' parenting. I want to get better reviews at the end of the day. And it's not going to happen, is it. Inevitably there will be some times when I have to say no, and deny my kids the very thing they are asking for. And inevitably those will be the times they remember, not the times when I abandoned all my plans so as to do the one thing they asked to do on a Saturday morning. They will only remember the times I said no. Which makes me wonder what the point is. Why try so hard when the end result will be much the same?