Categories: uncategorized
Date: 19 February 2007 16:54:13
I felt isolated.
I've often had the sense of nobody else agreeing with me. You can't have my taste in music without getting used to being the odd one out. But then it started to become an issue in many different aspects of my life. The leadership team at church of which I'm a part seem to frequently agree on a position which is totally counter to my own. In fact my basic views about what church is and what church should be and do seem to run counter to most, so I'm getting used to just having to shut up on certain topics because I'm fed up with the blank puzzled what-planet-is-he-on looks that expressing my opinions provokes. At work my overall picture of what is important and what isn't seems to be perpendicular to most others. Things my colleagues love doing are things I do just out of a sense of duty and of not wanting to stand out. And the things I love doing seem to be generally despised. And in virtual life too, as my previous post will almost certainly show, my thoughts are often well out of synch with almost everyone else's. When a situation provokes a strong emotional reaction in me I often find no-one who can understand why I feel the way I do. My wife often talks about how as a teenager she felt like she came from Mars compared with the people around her. I was the same but got over it when I went to university and found lots of like-minded people. But now I find I'm out of kilter again. More and more I find myself back in that situation of understanding nobody and feeling that nobody understands me. So do I stop being the me that I seem to be, or do I just get used to this feeling?