Categories: uncategorized
Date: 26 January 2010 15:13:05
I had to change my mind One of my favourite hymns is "When I survey the wondrous cross". Possibly I was influenced by Iona's version of it, and I was certainly pleased to introduce a version based on their arrangement into our church's music repertoire. For the first few times it always elicited a story from the preacher about how Isaac Watts was the first to use the word "I" in a hymn - personalising the sentiments and making them much more immediate then was previously possible. I took that as a very positive recommendation of the hymn and while unsure of the claimed history I was happy to buy into the story. Until For several years I've been agonizing about our church services. "Our" in the widest sense, but most specificially referring to the church that I regularly attend, and that I would claim as "my" church, by which, of course, I am standing up and associating myself with it, not claiming it as my personal possession. I've written about this at some length here, and I'm starting to think I need to write at some more length in perhaps a more formal way. I'm not sure where the dissatisfaction originated, but I started questioning everything that took place on a Sunday and before long I arrived at a stage where I could not intellectually justify any of it. None of it was done as a means of achieving a particular goal - all of it was done because traditions had to be perpetuated. Some of it you could, with a sufficiently twisted mind, come up with an explanation for. But any goal that you claimed it was trying to achieve could undoubtedly be achieved much, much more efficiently and effectively. The singing of songs in church was a key area here. We talk of "worship songs" or "a time of worship", which beautifully implies that this is the only time in the week that we acknowledge the worth of God. Many of the OT prophets, and many of Jesus's actions and words, make clear that worship should primarily be our living our lives in a way that pleases God. Treating others fairly, resisting temptations, all those dull things that don't feel remotely spiritual but which even most outside the church know are things we should do. Those are our acts of worship, and getting off on the latest great tune and clever words are not. But we like singing, and we like to think the emotional buzz we get out of it is deeply spiritual and is serving God. And singing "I" gives more of a buzz than singing "we". Singing "I" allows us to forget that annoying bloke behind us with the halitosis, and it allows us to overlook that woman on our right who alway grumbles about everything, and so on. Singing "I" allows us to focus on God, without any distractions. In fact, singing "I" clarifies things for us so much that we actually wonder why we have to come along on a Sunday and put up with all these other people that just distract us from God. Letting our mind wonder along these lines (and I chose not to say "thinking along these lines", because thinking is definitely not what's going on) will lead us to get frustrated with the whole Sunday business, and start resenting the church services and the way they get inbetween us and God. By that point we should know that we've gone wrong somewhere. And the where, it seems to me, starts with Isaac's glorious "I". For as far as I can see, I've got a whole week of just me and God - if I want to sing my own private song to him, then I can do it Mon-Sat without problem. Then, on Sunday, I get to join together with the other people that make up the church. I don't "come to worship God" or "come to meet with God" on a Sunday - I come to meet with my fellow worshippers. Those who, like me, have been worshipping God, or at least trying to, all week. But who, like me, having spent a week on their own are, to use the cliché, somewhat weak. And we all need to get together and do a bit of mutual encouragement. And singing together, for all that it's naff and reminds of '70s cumbayah singalongs, is a good way of doing just that. But to do that, to actually sing *together*, we need to be singing "we", not "I". When I survey is a great song of personal meditation. But because it's precisely that, it's really not a good song to sing in church. Meeting on a Sunday is of no value whatsoever if we don't meet - meeting with our fellow believers, despite the halitosis, grumbles and whatever. Blocking them out is to block ourselves out.