Fifteen days ago

Categories: uncategorized

Date: 27 January 2006 12:08:51

I had to umpire an argument about protein.

We are trying to encourage our kids to understand the need for a balanced diet by explaining what different foods contain. (Or rather, Jedburgh does that because, frankly, I don't have a clue. A mars bar in each hand sounds like a balanced diet to me). And they have at least grasped the mantra that a meal should contain some protein.

So it was that Airdrie decided she was going to "cook" (on the plastic kitchen they got for Christmas) something for Cambuslang. This being just after school both are tired and irritable, and Cambuslang grumped back that he didn't want anything because he had just cooked himself a carrot. Whereupon Airdrie, with the sort of precociousness that only a 3-year old girl could manage, said that a carrot was not good enough because it didn't have any protein. Clutching at straws Cambuslang argued that it did and appealed to me to support him.

In such situations it is, of course, important for parental authority that one should be able to come up with a clear and comprehensible answer and confirm that parents always know everything. Unfortunately, I hadn't a clue. And while trying to guess, I was also thinking - why am I doing this? They never told me at school that I would need to know this stuff in order to successfully bring up two barely school age kids. (Not that I would have paid any attention if they had - domestic science at school was ineffably boring except for the actual cooking bits which were just a laugh. At least until you had to taste the results). So, the moral of this tale is: if you're thinking of having kids, make sure you know whether carrots contain protein or not. Or face the consequences.