Four months ago

Categories: uncategorized

Date: 30 August 2006 10:59:04

I realized my memory had been colonized.

Just over ten years ago we got a camera. We were living in a new country and knew we weren't going to be there forever, and wanted to record some of the things we encountered. Implicit in that was an acknowledgment that we might not remember all the things we saw, and I know now how much of a self-fulfilling prophecy that unspoken thought was, because the photos we took with that camera have actually replaced my memories.

For example, when we lived in Germany we would quite often visit the Drachenfels, either walking or taking the rack railway to the top and eating kirschwaffeln in the restaurant at the top while looking out over the boats making their way along the Rhein. The portions were huge and delicious so those trips are something I think back to quite often. Of course, a few times we brought the camera with us and took some photos of the view in different seasons. One time, in particular, it was a very clear day and I took a photo looking north where we could see as far as Cologne, with the outline of the Cathedral being discernible on the horizon.

The thing is that now, when I think back to those times, the mental pictures I conjure up are not my memories of it, but the photos that we took. Those are the only pictures left and I carry them in my head even though I also have prints filed in an album somewhere. I only saw the view to Cologne once, but I've looked at the photo I took that day several times so, understandably, it is the photo I remember. But it's frustrating to find that that's all I'm left with. The photos have colonized my memory, wiping out most of the other things in there.