Categories: uncategorized
Date: 15 September 2006 14:23:20
I got frustrated at all the secrecy I have to maintain.
I find it frustrating that I feel I have to say stuff in an oblique way here. I find it bizarre that I can't repeat what friend A said to me about friend B because they'd never speak to each other again if I did. I find it strange that the biggest problems in my life are ones I simply can't talk about. I find it curious that I can't talk about the most amazing thing that happened to me at Greenbelt. And I find it odd that everybody else seems to cope with these rules about what can and cannot be said and they seem to handle these rules so well and so fluently whereas I always have to consciously remember the rules and remember to bite my tongue, sometimes only catching myself when I'm half-way through saying things I shouldn't. (And often not catching myself at all until it's too late).
But I suppose that's part of what makes it special when these things can be said - there is no greater friend than the one you can say anything to. Except, perhaps, the one you have already said everything to.