Socking it back to you

Categories: words, life

Date: 22 October 2007 15:39:51

At the weekend, I saw the editor of the knitting magazine (EKM) again. At the risk of seeming unbelievably nerdy I asked her about the state of the German sock market. I felt, gentle reader, that I had left you in suspenders* on this vital fact the last time I blogged about it. I could feel my readership was on the edge of its collective seat with worry.

EKM laughed gaily and said actually, she could not remember why the bottom had fallen out of the German sock market - and - amid yet further laughter - she was not now exactly sure if the bottom had fallen out at all.

I am at a loss to tell you how upset I am. I have failed you. Not once, but twice. Not only did I post an incomplete fact the first time, I tried to rectify the error and now find that I may have led you astray on the whole matter. By way of penance, the next time I need some new socks, I think I shall undertake to buy a pair of German socks. No, no! I'll make it two pairs.

*Suspenders. [used here in a weak attempt to pun on "in suspense"] In British usage, suspenders is a term for a belt from which women's stockings are suspended. Readers in North America call these braces, I believe. We, on the other hand, use the word braces to describe the item which holds up a man's trousers. North Americans do not call trousers trousers but pants. This word is used by the British to describe the item of clothing worn beneath the trousers. Some Brits are known to tuck their vest into their pants. North Americans: this means that they tuck their undershirt into their underpants - not that they tuck their waistcoat into their trousers... I think I'll stop there before I get my knickers in a knot.