Eavesdropping

Date: 22 July 2007 21:01:09

Its been a good weekend for found sentences.

(and I've been in five pubs, and saw people smoking indoors in three of them - so if the new law is going to work They are going to have to do a few pub landlords PDQ - I suspect they won't)

Overheard in a street in Faversham:

"We can't go in there. Children aren't allowed in pubs"
"Its not a pub. Its a Wetherspoon's"

(girl of about 11 or 12 talking to boy of similar age)

Overheard in a public lavatory:

"Did that English boy win the Grand Prix?"
"Dunno, do you mean Lewis?"
"Apparently he's English now. The Great White fucking Hope of England. I'm sorry but I've been waiting a long time and now he's English?"

(by their accents two thirty-something West Indian blokes)

Overheard in Catford:

"When I went to Jamaica I was in a club dancing and there was this woman with bleached blonde hair who stood on her head for about a whole minute. She was wearing a miniskirt and no underwear. It was disgusting man. I didn't know where to look. She had this big blonde hair and brown arms and a fair skin and it was all out of a bottle cos I'm telling you her pussy was black, man. You wouldn't have liked it if you saw it."

(young black woman trying to persuade a white male friend to come to Dancehall raves with her)

Overheard in a street in Faversham:

(retching noise)
"Did you really smoke them all?"
"Take a look in that little alley!"

(Small blond boy of about 11 or 12 years old)

I was walking down that little alley at the time and this is what I saw:

Overheard on train:

"What have we done? What haven't we done! Come and get us you lazy mare!"

(Middle-aged woman with strong south London accent talking to her mobile)

Overheard on train:

"But baseball! Baseball is catastrophe! If I have son and he likes baseball I kill him!"

(tall muscly young bloke with film-star looks and some kind of Slavic accent. Talking to a man who might have been Italian, sitting next to two rather flash looking blonde women who were chatting away in what might have been Russian or Serbian or Czech - I'm not good at identifying languages. I once mistook a group of Polish students for Spanish)