Categories: uncategorized
Tags: foundspeech
Date: 16 January 2009 19:10:29
If I was a sneaky little spy...
... I'd thank my God for letting me lie
No, I mean I'd ride around London on trains and busses listening to what people say into their mobile phones.
OK, so I do ride around London on trains and busses listening to what people say into their mobile phones (as you can see from the last few years of this blog by looking at the "foundspeech" tag). But I'm not a spy. I just can't help it, they are so LOUD. And busses are so boring when there is a delay. Like this morning. And people use such weird language. And they talk about ANYTHING.
Over the years I've heard intimate details of people's lives, learned who was about to be sacked, overheard at least two apparent dope deals (& quite a few more with some reading between the lines) and loads and loads of phone numbers and computer passwords. And those silly details banks ask you when they want you to pretend to be the person you are pretending to be when you do things to your account , even though they get all cross when you ask them to prove who they are. Even when it was them that phoned you and they claim they don't know your account number so you have to tell them which of course I won't because I wasn't born yesterday. (Actually it wasn't the bank, it was the phone company that did that - Virgin/NTL/CableandWireless/Videotron or whatever they are rebranding themselves this week. Or maybe it was some other lying phone company trying to poach their customers. Just offer me support via real email instead of the phone and I'm yours... as long as you don't charge any more than the other lot and I get cable TV and Internet as well...)
But anyway, if I was a spy - well, if I was a spy I'd probably be picking on targets rather than hearing what randomly comes up. Though if those targets are as stupid as some people all I would have to do is arrange to commute on the same train as they do and keep my ears open. (Or maybe the kinds ofg people spies are interested in always drive.
But if I was a criminal, or even a slightly dodgy geezer, I could have come up with lots of random business opportunities. He hates her does he? And they are about to be sacked? And this is the admin password on the SQL server that keeps the company accounts? And that is the name of the customer database? And the Maidstone office is losing money and will be downsized if things don't pick up soon? No new mortgages in how long? And this is your target rate on the contract? And you really think THAT about your client's chances of winning the case? And it is all online at that IP address? Thank you very much.
And overheard on the 188 bus today:
"This is A from X College [...] Oh it will be worth your while coming down - even if you are late for the meeting. We're going to Y College at 4pm for the protest - Tony Benn will be speaking, we're going to meet him at Z"
Phone down, bleep-bleep-bleep, business voice on:
"Hi, this is A from X - could you give me George Galloway's office number. I need to tell him about the Gaza protest at Z. Right, 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... sorry could you repeat that, was that last bit 1234 or 4321? 1234. Thanks!"
No you don't exactly have to be Mossad to work out what was going on there. And while mild-mannered British academics protesting alongside ex-Labour MPs and Labour ex-MPs is hardly going to have anyone quivering in their fur-lined boots there are probably a few journalists in London who might have tried blagging their way into Z to see what was happening.