Categories: uncategorized
Date: 10 March 2008 17:55:45
Ok, we disappeared. Disappeared into a blurry, teary, firey haze full of transitional labour pains, heartache, joy, and nappies. (the tears and fire coming whenever a social worker phones us or crosses the threshold of our home bringing their scrutiny and assessment notepads with them, the labour pains coming everytime we start to feel like she belongs to/with us but then they are there to remind us that she's "not ours yet, she never has been and they could still take her back if we do something they don't like" or something to that effect. . . the joy coming the first time LittleOne allowed me to hold her hand [sometime around mid February], the nappies coming about 4 or 5 times a day.)
Sorry.
Gladly, things are finally starting to go well for our new family. As far as our family, the three of us, on our own, left to get on with being a family on our own and with our friends, that is. I love being a family, when they allow us to be.
Sadly, things have not gone well in terms of the invasive proceedure that is known as 'adoption placement'. (Adoption Placement - The point at which a child begins to live with prospective parents. The period before the adoption is finalized/made legal.) We were never prepared for the scrutiny to continue in quite this way. We weren't prepared for the insensitivities and "miscommunications" (i call them lies, but i get told off by our social worker if i refer to it that way) that have pervaded the last two months, just as we were trying to learn how to do this new parent thing. A stressful thing, even when your new baby isn't 18 mo old and walking around and getting into everything and just beginning to clutch at her own independence when you're trying so hard to attach!
There have been blatant mistakes made that have created more stress, depression, hurt, fear and shock than ever should have been allowed. We keep saying "no one should have to start a family this way."
I paint a grim picture, and I'm sorry, that's just my honesty. The same honesty that so often gets us so in to trouble. What isn't grim, is the potential that is beginning to emerge from our family. We fit together, we do. And once the legal Adoption Order comes through the courts, we will finally be allowed to get on and enjoy it.
We are a family. Now, let's just pray that the systems acknowledge that sooner rather than later.