Categories: uncategorized
Date: 24 January 2006 15:07:44
Sometime earlier last year, but still later than the last entry:
Got our first book that we've ordered today. What Size Shoes Does She Wear: Adopting a Toddler by Denise Harris Hoppenhauer.
I've thought of more questions. Will our adopted child have dual citizenship in UK/US? (any birth child would, it would be wrong if an adopted child didn't) What about my American pronunciations? I always get told I'm pronouncing something wrong when I read my friends' children stories. Like the time I read that “the kitten said ‘mew'” and pronounced it ‘MU'. I was told definitely that ‘We don't say that here, we say ‘miaow'” And I pointed to the word and said, “Look, it says ‘mew'. Kittens mew, cats meow.” Thus the debate continued and the little girl and I sat and meowed at each other for about five minutes. I was horrified the other night while reading to another friend's children that the Alphabet song now isn't the one that I learned! Will I catch up to these things, or annoy (or worse hinder) my future child? I suppose everyone does in the end (either catch up or hinder)
Having a strange reaction of being extremely positive during the daytime, as I go about my daily stuff, imagining how would I do X Y or Z with a little girl with me (my imaginary child at this moment is a little girl... she always has been), and a more negative scared feeling in the late evening, when I'm done with the day, tired and just want to sit or collapse. I wonder what it would be like right now if she couldn't sleep and I couldn't just watch tele or have a glass of wine with mr dots or watch a movie and I'd have to see to a little one's fears and frustrations. Or simply her need to go to the loo or not wanting to go to bed and making all manner of excuses to stay up. Or worse having tantrums. Or being destructive. The fantasy gets worse and worse. And suddenly my mind shouts out “Are you MAD?? Are you crazy even considering it??”
But then it's morning again, and everything is ok.